Friday, November 9, 2012

Is three a crowd?

Okay, after our first horrible night in Sofia w/ Summer, it was time for Warren to bring home Logan and Reni.  Again, not rehashing everything from last year.  Just filling in stuff that I think others should know b/c we are NOT the only ones things happen to.  Oh this child is so sweet or this child slept through the night or whatever happy thing you had going on.  First night we took Summer out to the restaurant as our apartment was roach infested and I couldn't cook w/ the roaches.  Went out and it was like you put a board straight down her back.  She sat there so straight and was almost comatose.  Kind of scary to look at.  But, we got through it and so did she.

Anyhow, back to Logan and Reni coming home.  The drive for Warren was 6.5 hours one way.  Yikes! 

Getting ready to go.

Finishing up last details and gathering bags of stuff.  Papers from school and awards and things of that nature.  One day, I'll actually get them translated.  This orphanage cared and saved many things of theirs.  I can't thank them enough for that.  It's a sweet thought & shows they cared about the children there.  

 A little more nervous as they know it's all about to change forever.

 One last goodbye.  

Now, they headed outside and we have a photo of them just sobbing and overcome w/ grief.  However, I can't get it to post.  Going to try again as you need to see the sheer emotion of this experience for older children that get adopted.  It's like you're ripping out their heart.  You are indeed taking it all away from them forever.  It's extremely difficult for them no matter what the situation.  

After all that, they came back to Sofia.  We were hoping that would help Summer a bit more.  Familiar language and such.  Umm, nope!  Wishful thinking.  And let the nightmare of the next few days begin.  I know it's not glamorous and all roses like many describe but it wasn't for us.   Not one bit.  Questioning if we even did the right thing at some points.  At one point, one of us said it's not too late to send him back.  Now, before you all think that is the most horrific thing to say in the world, let me tell you a little of what went on.  Summer was a nightmare.  Emotionally checked out and not wanting anything to do w/ us.  Thank God for Viviane.  LOL.  She loved Viviane and would calm down for her.  I will never forget the day Summer finally chose to have me hold her.  Sweet.  Very sweet moment.  But that took a little time.

Then, we had Reni who was sick of Summer screaming and crying she kept telling her to shut up.  Really, I couldn't blame her.  We all felt the same way but Reni vocalized it the most.  Reni was terrified of her brother.  You could tell her hit her....a lot.  Obviously, that was not allowed w/ us.  Also, I told Reni, when we get home, you never have to worry about Logan.  Yana & Irina will take care of him for you.  She smiled so big and the relief in her tense shoulders was amazing.  

So, here we are.  Small apartment trying to keep Summer quiet, Reni and Logan separated as to not spar on a WWF match, and keep Logan contained from lashing out and running away.  Honest to goodness, it would be hard for most adoptive families to handle this situation.  I am NOT bragging or trying to say yes, we can do it.  That's not it at all.  I think the only reason and I mean only reason we survived this was b/c of all our FAS experience and experience w/ RADishes. 

I'll give you idea of what all Logan did while we were there.  And mind you, this is not the whole list.  Besides trying to beat his sister and argue w/ everything that moved, Logan kicked a cane out from an elderly gentleman, yelled at protesters, tried to steal on numerous occasions, tried to steal hospital donations, ran away from the apartment twice, peed, pulled out his own tooth(not loose) out of pure spite, tried to order beer and vodka, kicked people, cussed like a sailor, tried to stab his sister in the restaurant, went to gambling sites on the computer, and the list could go on forever.  He lied constantly.  Was very aggressive, etc.  The only outlet I had was to my agency back home who understood what I was going through.  Crazy, crazy stuff.  Really was.  Didn't think we'd make it till the end of the week.  But, we did.  Then, it was time to go home.  OMG!  Wanted to leave Logan on the tarmac.  I was assigned the two girls and the bags.  We needed one person and one only on Logan.  Period.  That would be Warren.  We knew we'd get a run for our money & boy did we ever.  That is a story for another post.  A brief story about coming home and adjustments the first few hours home.  After that, I'll tell of the year transformations we've had.  Also, I'll be writing about the medical reports.  I'll tell what my kids have told me they've endured over their time spent at the orphanage.  I am not stunned but some of you may be.  I think though it's important to know about older kids & the life they lived in order to move forward with them.  Also, to help prepare other adoptive parents.  The abuse and aggression you may see w/ your kids.  Is it normal?  Will you ever get them straightened out?  Will you ever be able to relax again in your life?  I'll be honest with you.  Sorry this posts aren't all sugar coated.  They can't be.  This is real.  it's real life.  It's our life.  I also want to share what we did and how we did it to get them from then to now in just a year. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi Stephanie. If you send a photo if some of reni and Logan's awards or certificates, i can probably get you a rough translation.