Saturday, October 13, 2012

A little disappointed

Okay, so a lot disappointed.  See, I wrote awhile back about Warren and I having an anniversary coming up.  It's our 15th wedding anniversary.  Really, really wanted to do something special. Given our situation, we can't stay away from the house for too long.  But, I thought 2 or 3 nights away would be perfect.  See, Warren and I have never really had time away.  I know most in the special needs community get what is called respite.  We do not.  Not a bit.  Those in this community know what that means.  It's just plain exhausting all the time here!  And we're okay with that.  However, out of 15 years, I was looking so forward to going somewhere for the first time ever.  Warren and I have never had a vacation together.  Sorry but adoption trips don't count.  They are way too stressful.  Plus, you pick up the kids on those trips and try not to lose your mind in the process of figuring out how to pee in a hole in the ground in the middle of an Orenburg court room.  Though, I'm sure they've redone those by now.

Anyhow, I was really wanting to go somewhere.  Anywhere really.  We were getting excited looking on Groupon, Living Social, Travelzoo, etc.  Great deals.  I wanted to click buy so dog gone badly.  But, I didn't.  I couldn't.  Not when you look at the needs of a family first and that's what we do here.  Look at the needs first.  Max told us this week the springs are coming through his mattress.  Umm, that can't be good.  He's grown a ton and so had Bojan.  They are in their teens.  Frankly, almost all the kids need new mattresses.  We got a few last year from a friend but still need around 8 more twin mattresses.  In addition, Warren can't get out of his car.  I kid you not. Door handle is broken.  He can't get out from the inside unless you open from the outside.  He's dealing with it.  We also have sports/ activities the kids want to do in the spring, therapy Bojan will need in order to get the amputation(urghh!!!-- another post), roof for the house, implants for Nik, Christmas, etc.  Too many things that are NEEDED that truly, we can't justify our wanting to take a short vacation for our anniversary.  Though many will say it too is needed (& I can't agree more), we just can't at this time do it financially.

I'm disappointed but truly, I'll get over it.  There are other anniversaries but as the kids age, some won't be able to live independently, etc., we know are chances of vacationing together are probably slim to none.  We absolutely enjoy our family vacations though so at least we have that.  But just once, just one time, I'd love to go with my husband some place sans kids on vacation.  That day will eventually come and really there are far more hardships in the world that me not being able to take a vacation seems almost selfish to complain about.  It is really.  I know that.  Still doesn't take away the fact I'd love to go.  Warren and I get to walk the dogs here and there as our time away.  And, sometimes in the evenings after 11, the kids are asleep and we can watch a movie in peace.  Last time we tried to go to Sam's alone, got a call saying Reni got stung by a cow killer.  Hence, why we limit how far and how long we go somewhere w/out kids.  Just too unpredictable in a house w/ FASers.  And if you think it's better b/c they're older, you're wrong.  Remember how to calculate age when factoring in FAS.

It is our anniversary Dec. 7th.  I know it won't be glamorous but with ten kids, nothing is glamorous any more.  LOL.  It's practical.  It's what's best for them, not necessarily for us.  Instead of whining, we should celebrate.  A friend offered to watch the kids so we will probably still take her up on that offer.  Enjoy a time away even if just dinner and the cheap seats (what we call the family movie theater in town here). It's time together.  It's precious no matter where you are.  It's a reminder that we're married and still in love.  That's what's more important.  Not necessarily where you go. I do know wherever we decide to go out to dinner, I'm getting shrimp.  I LOVE shrimp and as you can imagine, we don't get to have it that often in this house.  Seafood.  And, we live not far from the Crystal Coast of the Atlantic so fresh seafood is not too hard to find around here.  We may just head to Sanitary.  Known all over the state!  If you ever go to Atlantic Beach, everyone knows what we're talking about.  Sanitary.  Odd name for a restaurant but the BEST seafood!  It's about 2 hours from us so not too bad.  And during fall/ winter, you have no tourons there.  LOL.  Those of us who used to live at the beach would call the tourists during the summer tourist morons.  I know, it wasn't very nice to do.  But, those who've lived at the beach or near it know exactly how those who reside there feel about "their" beach & out of towners taking over for the summer.

Anyhow, fresh seafood for dinner and awesome company will be the ticket for sure.  May end up at Red Lobster though as it is indeed closer.  Either way, it will be a fun evening whenever we decide to go.  Pending no major surgeries on the horizon.  We think Max may have torn something serious in his arm.  Doc's working on a referral to ortho & then for MRI.  Never dull here, is it.  And being able to handle things like that together is why the marriage has remained strong all these years.  Well, that and he agrees I'm always right!  Shh, don't tell him I said that.  So, no trip for our anniversary but a great dinner we'll have and great company.  That is more than enough for us.  Though granted, I can't say I wouldn't be excited if I hit the lottery & won a trip somewhere.  LOL.  Enjoy the little things in everyday life.  They do matter.  Little conversations, kiss goodbye, joking around ,etc. When you have kids, it makes the relationship stronger to have those things. 

1 comment:

  1. We can't get away either, occasionally though we will get a evening off where we choose to just stay at home without the girls and enjoy the peace. We make sure we kiss and hug hello and goodbye, grab the odd 5 minutes here or there to find some humor in our lives and now that the girls are getting older they are spending more time in their room, listening to music or watching a movie - so we can sit and keep quiet company downstairs. We only have two, but its only been in the last few months that we have gotten this small sense of space from them. Vacations are too hard so we don't do them, we try and fit in some fun day trips throughout the year instead. Hang in there and make sure your hugs are fierce - not all wimpy and rushed!