Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Birthday request for Nik

I usually don't do this but feel I must.  Nik is 9 years old.  As you all know, he is deaf (due to AN), autistic, FAS, delayed, sensory integration issues, etc.  Typical alphabet soup for a PI child.  I will share something on here that I haven't really before.  Nik is craving to have a friend.  He is.  He wants the little boy across the street to play but he's friends w/ Alex and doesn't really interact w/ Nik much despite being the same age.  It's hard to watch.  What's harder to watch is when kids try to be friends with Nik, such as at soccer, and he wrings his hands over and over and just doesn't know how to react.  He has opportunities to meet other kids.  That's not it.  It's just the social part is excruciating for him.  Doesn't matter if they try to talk to him or sign.  His reaction is the same.  To withdraw.  Hence, not really any friends.  Though he talks about having friends. 

Okay, he's been counting down to his birthday since Logan had his.  No lie.  Nik's birthday is October 3rd.  He wants a party so badly, he made invitations out and Nik and Summer stood at the street trying to hand them out to passing cars.  He made another invitation that he spent forever on to give to the kid across the street.  Broke my heart.  Nik had made such a colorful invitation for his party.  I will take a picture of it.  Has Nik Party and a picture of a house.  That is the location.  when he wrote this, he had 23 days left till his birthday...date of party.  He has smiley faces, stars, balloons, etc. all over it.  He has a birthday cake w/ Nik's party above it.  Nik has Nik-gift- money so people know what to give him.  That one cracked me up.  He has presents that say Nik's gifts.  On the bottom it has I love Nik.  Do you know how hard this is for me to see?  Do you realize how hard it is?  Nik has no friends.  His siblings he keeps close.  And despite him wanting friends, he can't seem to make any. 

Do I invite a bunch of folks that I know probably can't come?  I think that would be more heartbreaking. I thought about having his soccer team sing Happy Birthday to him and I'll pass out the cupcakes & such at the field.  I'm going to ask his coach if that would be okay.  Our family will have cake and things for him of course.  I just want to do something a little special as he is just really looking forward to this.  Irina has offered to buy him something w/ her own money so it is just more than 1 gift from mom & dad. 

Here's what I wanted to request of some of you if possible.  I know this is strange but I want this to be a special day for him.  He's had to see other people have parties, get presents, etc.  He loves when cards come in the mail.  I was hoping maybe a few of you that week would be willing to send him a birthday card.  I think that would at least give him a happy boost that people are thinking of him on his birthday.  It would mean a lot to him I'm sure of it.  I guess I just hate the thought of him being "alone" on his birthday even though there are plenty of us here.  He loves the cake and songs and that will be great.  Plus, I think the older kids and their friends will do what they did w/ Logan and decorate while we're gone.  He LOVED that with Logan's birthday.  I may do what I did w/ Reni's & have Warren bring home a balloon bouquet on the way home from work.  Just trying to think a bit more about all this as his birthday is coming up soon.  Yana's is this weekend but she's turning 17.  All she wanted was to go to homecoming and get a dress.  Of course we'll have cake and things but her thing was she wanted to go to the dance.  And she'll be going.  Nik's b-day is right behind hers though and is sneaking up fast.  Nik keeps asking about his party.  I keep trying to tell him to do something different.  We still owe Logan Laser tag but can't do it till after soccer season is over.  He totally understands that though so that is good.  Nik however lives and dies by the calender.  Birthday included.  So, trying to make this special for him as best I can.  I know I can't change who he is or the dx's.  I'd never change who he is but would love to change the dx's he has.  I'd love for him to be able to make friends.  School used to tell me he had friends.  Really?  Then how come no one ever called or came over?  It was the same story there.  I've seen him firsthand.  He just can't handle it.  Same way at soccer, or the park, or church, or homeschool academy classes.  He wants friends but wrings his hands over and over again and looks away.  I remind him to talk to people but he just can't do it.  Sign or voice.  We've worked on this.  Even his speech therapist has worked on this with us. 

Anyhow, I'm sidetracked.  Bottom line, I want his birthday to be a special day for Nik.  Getting cards in the mail would mean a lot to him.  He can read the words Happy Birthday.  Btw, print is better for him.  If any of you can do this for Nik, I would be beyond appreciative of it.  Thanks a bunch. 

14 comments:

  1. You got it! His precious little face is soooo sweet. By the way, what is the fm system you have mentioned?

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  2. Stephanie, we would LOVE to send a birthday card to Nik...can you send me your mailing address? My e-mail is mom_of_ross @ yahoo.com

    I don't know if blogger lets you type out e-mail addresses, hence the extra spaces. And I think having cupcakes with his soccer team is a great idea.
    Ps-our card would be coming from Canada...maybe we could find some Canada flag stickers to include?

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  3. I would love to send a card too. Since i'm in California I could send little things from here. My email is kristinebarr1121@gmail.com

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  4. Stephanie, I haven't commented on your blog, at least I don't think I have, but please send me your mailing address and I will be glad to mail a card and maybe something a little special just for him. Email your address to me at 3holloways@cox.net and I'll get it out.

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  5. Also very happy to do this! minervaish@gmail.com

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  6. My daughter who is 14 w/FAE (from Russia) has the same issue w/making friends and it breaks my heart. She loves to draw and would love to make a card for Nik. please send your mailing address to sproskin@hotmail.com. Sue

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  7. I'd be happy to send a card. dmlanigan@yahoo.com

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  8. I will need an address as well. I think all my kids would love to do this. My email address is ajsantor@yahoo.com. By the way, how old will he be?

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  9. I would love to send Nik a card, and maybe a little something special for him. He deserves it!

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  10. oh yeah, email might help, right? cdeafiem@yahoo.com :)

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  11. My son FAS ADHD autism spectrum sensory and I would love to send a card. Zerq23 @ aol. Com

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  12. Let me know the address...srl5059@gmail.com - my 4 kids and i will definitely send him one...when is it?

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  13. My email is jaimedvm@gmail.com. I would love to send Nik a card. Please send me your mailing address.

    Thanks,
    Jaime

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  14. The girls and I will each send him a card. Let me know where to send them. Mommystamps@Hotmail.com.

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