Thursday, September 6, 2012

Are teens accepting when young ones come home?

We've been questioned by a few here and there on the age gap of our children.  See, in the adoption world, sometimes it is not accepted by some agencies to adopt out of birth order.  Some places won't let you adopt so soon after a previous adoption.  Many, many different rules.  However, I'm here to talk about the age gap that is some times worried about by agencies or in many cases by own families.  Yes, we have an age gap in our home.  Our oldest girl is 19yo, almost 20.  Our youngest is 5yo.  Our oldest boy is 17yo.  So, quite the age range when you think about it. 

Does it matter in the grand scheme of things?  I really don't think so.  When you decide to add another child to the family, I really just contemplate how they'll fit in w/ the current bunch.  Not once have I worried how old my ones at home were.  Some say don't adopt the same age or close in age.  I just don't listen, do I?  LOL.  We have 4 sets of 'virtual twins.'  4 sets! 

Are teens accepting when young ones come home?  Well, just take a look.  Max and Summer have a tight bond despite that age difference.  Frankly, she has him wrapped around her little finger.  The teens are pretty helpful for  the most part.  Most of it is though from living through the first few months home when being adopted.  My oldest kids have seen it time and time again.  They know that it won't be all roses when they first arrive.  They know we'll need help with them.  They know the bonds won't always be instantaneous and they know they'll be a disruption in the so called pecking order.  Having these adjustments though I think is good for them.  Teaches them a few things.  Cooperation for one.  Patience for another.  Things of that nature.  Helping someone in need.  Understanding various issues, etc.  So, I don't think it is a burden on them.  Some bonds and adjustments take longer.  Reni and Alyona were pretty instantaneous.  As was Logan and Alex.  Bojan and Max took quite some time to allow Logan into "their pack."  Plus, Logan had the issue of trusting older kids as he used to get beat up by them at the orphanage. Some things obviously take time and one of those can be forming bonds between siblings.  All my kids do tend to help each other out when they need it.  However, don't think they'd sell each other out in a heartbeat as well!  It happens.  

Just wanted to say older kids are accepting when younger ones come home.  It's not seen as an inconvenience.  Okay, it is until the rooms are set up.  Geez.  Other than that though, things tend to work themselves out and differences settle out.  Just wanted to share. 

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