Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Nik's Neurology Appointment

Today was the day we took Nik to neurology.  See, one thing we've been very guilty of all these years is focusing on Nik's deafness and trying to get sound to him and communication (total) to him that we seem to have failed to address other issues.   Yes, I knew they existed.  Some times though, children outgrow certain behaviors, especially orphanage kids.  In addition, Warren and I have to sort out what is related to his deafness, delays from the orphanage, typical boy stuff, FAS, and everything else under the sun.  That takes awhile.  However, I think part of me was somewhat in denial.  So, today was the day we went for a professional opinion.  A doc we've known for over 12 years now w/ Max and Irina.  She knows our family well and sees us enough for many of our kids.  We wanted unbiased thoughts.  Not hindered by a mom's thinking or a dad's thinking.  Cut to the chase stuff. 

We took Summer and Nik with us.  Irina was home from work today and stayed home with the other kids.  I brought along Nik's medicals from Russia in addition to his court docs on termination of rights and why.  Suffice it to say, Nik's young childhood was horrific.  I know I don't share too much of that stuff and focus on the here and now but part of the here and now is affected by the past.  So is the case with Nik.  Neurologist said Nik does indeed have autism tendencies.  However, it would be near impossible to separate that from the ADHD, FAS, deprivation and neglect, sensory integration, and deafness.  His past the first few years was filled with an unreal amount of deprivation and neglect that it would take years to catch up she said. And honestly, I kind of pushed his past aside.  I think deep down, I try not to think about some of their pasts.  It's too hard at times.  You would rather block it out than to accept it happened to your child.  Our neurologist said he is a mountain of issues and we are barely at the foothills.  She said he is obviously doing well w/ your family.  She told me it will be very slow going.  He is all visual which we knew already.  She did say using autism curriculum would help b/c Nik is such visual a kid. 

I know we've always had Nik's interests at heart.  Knowing if you are doing the right thing is hard.  Very hard.  We go back in six months.  Healing your child from the horrors they suffered in the past is not an easy task.  It's a long, long journey.  As a parent you hope that every decision you make for your child is the right one.  We feel the same with Nik.  Did we do this right?  Is this what's best?  Will he learn to read?  Can he learn to be social?  I will not tell exactly what all happened to Nik.  I can see the connection though as to why he would not want to be all that social.  Today, neurology helped to connect the dots and gave us reasons as to the why.  Solutions, not so much.  Just to keep doing what we're doing.  We plan to.  He's a smart kid and endless potential.  And that is what matters most. 

1 comment:

  1. "He is obviously doing well with your family". I think that says it all. He is happy and creating and communicating. And that is the foundation for growth.

    I love reading about your family. Thank you.