Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Sacrifice

Again, this is one that I wrote last year but removed it.  Knowing others are going through the same grueling process, I've decided to put posts back up again.  Hope no one is confused.  

I questioned whether I should even write this post but I know other adoptive families that go through all kinds of things to bring their kids home.  In addition, at church today there was a sermon that was very relevant to all this and so it gave me the extra push to share here as well.  As everyone is aware, you must sacrifice when doing an adoption.  Everyone must in my opinion.  Sometimes you are sacrificing the things you love to do to save money, sometimes you are sacrificing your time by doing paperwork till you're blue in the face.  Sometimes, you are sacrificing your family relationships to pursue what God has called you to do...adopt.  Sometimes you sacrifice the things you love to bring  your kids home. Yesterday, I had to sacrifice something I loved.  It was more symbolic than anything really.  Not going to lie.  It was hard to do.  Very hard.  You all know we are still short money that is due THIS week.  Actually, it was due last week but I'm pretending I didn't know that.  Seriously though, I thought it was due after court but that's neither here nor there. It's due is the bottom line and we don't have it.  For these three adoptions, we have borrowed from retirement, put some airfare on credit card, got a job, sold what we could, babysat when I could, tried to fundraise a little, etc.  We tried it all.  Even resorted to asking people for help to help us rescue these three orphans  that we consider our kids through and through.  And for any parent, you make sacrifices for your kids.  Whether your kids are here or your kids are across the ocean desperately needing your help.  You do what must be done.  Call it mother's instinct, fate, whatever you will but there is something there that you feel.  You must protect them.  In order for us to protect them, we must get them home.  To do that, we must pay fees for documents and courts and whatever else.  You all know the routine. Well, a friend of mine was having a gold party yesterday. I didn't want to go. I really didn't.  Yes, wanted to see some of my friends and hang out but I really didn't want to part with anything that meant so much to me.  Yet, I knew I must.  Sometimes you are called to do things that are hard.  I believe in my kids across the ocean and will do anything to get them home.  There have been many generous people the last week.  For that, I am eternally grateful. However, we have a long way to go.  And as I said before, I'll do what it takes to get them home.  So, I reluctantly went to this party with what little bit of jewelry I have.  See, I don't really have any fancy jewelry to begin with.  But I had my little bag with a few rings in it and a necklace.  Those rings... our wedding bands and my engagement ring.  Now, you can probably understand why I didn't want to go to the party.  Most everyone was giving away jewelry that they thought was junk.  Me, I was giving away what I had and jewelry that I had NO desire whatsoever in getting rid of.  I let everyone go ahead of me.  Desperately wanting to change my mind.  Yet, I knew this wasn't about me or about Warren or the marriage.  It was about three little kids over in Bulgaria who are depending upon their mom and dad to get them home.  So, I sucked it up and sat down w/ my little bit.  Had them take the diamond out and try to keep a straight face as the atmosphere is pretty happy as everyone is getting money for things they don't want.  I wanted these things.  Shoot, it's one of the only things in this house that didn't get broken over the years.  Things that I looked at every single day for the past 13 years.  So, when she asked me if I was sure I wanted to take the diamond out, I said yes.  She put it in a little bag.  I quickly tucked it away in my pocket book.  Anxiously waiting to get out of there.  Not that I didn't want to hang around, I was just terrified I might break down and cry if I stayed too long and thought too hard about it.  The symbols of our marriage gone.  Yes, I know the marriage is just fine.  Not worried about that at all.  Just going to miss opening up my jewelry box and seeing those pieces in there everyday.  She weighed everything out piece by piece.  Told me what it was worth and asked if I wanted to do it.  I wanted with all my heart to scream at her NO.  I really did.  But I said yes.  Yes, because I know in my heart these are just things.  The money recieved will go toward bringing the kids home.  No, it was not the $4K we needed but every bit helps for sure.  It was a couple hundred dollars.  And Warren is still here, the love is still here and I know deep down inside that is what counts.  Yet, it is hard not seeing those rings everyday.   Once the adoptions are done and medical stuff for the new kids done, we plan to eventually be able to buy new wedding bands for us again.  And, I'll have a diamond necklace one day made out of that diamond.  I know most likely I will never have another engagement ring and that's okay.  I will have something much more important... a family complete.  And that my friends is totally worth sacrificing for.  I know some may think that was crazy to do and that's okay.  I agree.  But, I don't really have anything to sell that's worth much around this house.  I have a job.  I'm not talented at making handmade things to sell on an etsy shop, I can't sew, I can't really cook that well, I don't have much to offer as far as teaching goes so I really am limited.  I know many open up etsy shops.  I can't do that.  I'm doing all that I can do.  I am.  This was just one of those things that I could do.  I could sacrifice a little of what I love to help get my kids home.  Was it easy to do?  No.  Not one single bit.  I kept eating dip(which was delicious btw) to get my mind off the jewelry.  Pathetic, I know.  So tonight, I sit here getting ready to go get a few things done.  Don't think I"ll open that jewelry box for a few more days.  Again, it was my choice.  I had the choice not to do this.  However, I'm running out of options and time.  I will have another post on fundraising ideas that we will be doing.  Meantime, we have a tax deductible link you can pass around. Hey, you never know who may be looking for a tax break.  bring the kids home! Next post will have to be what we plan to do on the fundraising efforts to miraculously raise $4K in less than a week.  I know we can do it b/c we have to do it.  I definitely willing to sacrifice what I need to in order to help my children come home.  So, any ideas you may have,  I am still wide open.  I've got a few things in the works for sure.  Just takes time to get stuff together.  So far, we have $894 towards the $5K that is due.  This was from donations, gold being sold, stuff around the house being sold.  I think that is simply amazing for a week's time, don't you?  I know I can do this. Not sure how but I know I can.  My kids have sacrificed a lot in life by living in an orphanage.  They've sacrificed a healthy, happy normal childhood.  They haven't had a family. I know in my heart of hearts we are their forever family.  And, no matter what I need to sacrifice to get them home, I know it is absolutely nothing compared to what they've had to sacrifice their entire lives.  I know I got sidetracked here.  Sorry about that.  Need to go work on dinner and organize more fundraising ideas and such.  To all other adoptive parents who are sacrificing something dear to them, it will be worth it.  When we first started our adoption journeys years ago for Irina and Max, Warren had to sell his truck to help get them home.  I told him you can always buy another truck one day.  He never was able to get another truck but he has had countless precious memories with his kids that I'm sure will outlast that Dodge Dakota he once had.  Same with my engagement ring.  The kids are worth it.  Thanks for letting me share.

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