Friday, March 2, 2012

Glimpse of an FASD day

I woke up this morning w/ a severe headache and sinus ache.  You know, the kind that feels like someone is stabbing you in the eye, light hurts, etc.  This is the third day in a row like this.  Hoping it goes away by the weekend.  Anyhow, decided there was no way I could do home school academy w/ the kids today.  Called and let them know we could not be there.  Kids have been wiped out as well this week.  So today is very low key.  Doing some more research on amphibians on the computer, watching the America documentary series, multiplication and I don't know what else at this point in time.  Whatever my eyes can muster.  LOL. 

Alex and Logan take the dogs for a walk every morning.  Irina and I at dinner time and then Bojan and Max at night.  Today Alex and Logan left as usual.  Wanted them to get in the walk before the rain came.  Logan comes back, normal time.  I said where's Alex?  He said Alex went for a run.  URGHH!!!  He knows he's only allowed to run w/ Yana due to his overheating issues.  He must run w/ a partner no matter what.  Rules.  So, I wait.  He doesn't show.  Knowing FASD comes w/ very poor judgment, lack of impulse control and no cause & effect thinking, I knew I should go out to look for him.  I go to get ready.   In that 2 minute time I went to go get ready to look for Alex, Logan and Alyona left to go find him. URGHHH!~!!!!  So, I then load everyone else up in the van and proceed to go look for the 3 kids now. 

Found Alex w/ Kota coming down a street.  A street he knows he's not supposed to be on.  It's not bad but just need him to stay on isolated streets where neighbors know my kids, know some of their "issues" and can call me if they see something strange or kids need help.  Got to remember, though my kids are older, FASD age is about half their chronological age.  Hence, why I have them walk in pairs.  If running, run w/ one of the teens.  Anyhow, had soak and wet Alex get in w/ Kota.  Kota did not want to get in the van.  Got him in and went home.  Alex's saving grace was that it rained and he didn't over heat.  Dropped them off, kept Summer in her car seat and went to look for Alyona and Logan.  Hey, at least they went in pairs.  Saw them and made them get in the van.  I understand that Logan is new, however, he is 11yo and is mentally just fine.  He knows Alyona needs help in making decisions.  Yet, I know he's still learning so give him the benefit of the doubt...a little.  They both knew I was not happy a single bit w/ the lack of decision making.  Yes, they were trying to help.  But it's like saving someone drowning in the ice.  You don't keep piling everyone on the ice.  You wait for the rescue crews. 

I tell you this b/c this is only ONE small sample of the little bad decisions that happen throughout my day.  Yes, we keep pretty much 24/7 watch on them but still tough.  Like yesterday when Bojan told Alex to open the garage door.  Keep in mind, Bojan did not know about the door.  Alex did indeed know b/c he got in trouble for it the previous day.  Garage door is broken.  Easy fix but Warren can't do it till the weekend.  So, it must, it must remain closed.  Alex went and opened it.  More work for Warren this weekend.  This is a vicious cycle w/ FASD kids.  We have 7 kids now out of the ten w/ a brain disorder.  They look "normal" as we get told but they think  very differently than you and I.  We must, we must be their external brains.  We must think for them.  Everyday, all day.  All year.  It is draining some days.  I tell you all this because I know some on here are new to the FASD world.  Don't know what to expect.  It's the little things like this that some days will drive you bonkers.  And, with FASD kids, most things won't become noticeable until after school age.  Up until that time, they are for the most part accepted as kids just being kids. 

I Know I don't focus much or talk about FASD on this blog.  Yet, we live it daily.  So from time to time, I like to tell things like this so others can get a feel for what it is like to live with a child effected w/ this disorder.  Not easy.  Doable, but not easy.  Yet, here we are.  Not changing anything.  We do what works around here.  change things when it doesn't.  Everyone is going to have a bad day at some point.  That's a given.  You help them learn and move forward.  always move forward. 

Anyhow, just wanted to share a glimpse of FASD.  Decision making.  Repetition.  Not getting it.  All sorts of things.  And though they seem minor, they are not.  They pile up.  We dig through that pile and keep moving forward.  I know the FASD life is not for everyone.  But I've seen how far the kids can come.  What they can over come.  I know we've gone 'against the norm' in regards to how we handle our kids.  We do not do special diets, take all sorts of supplements, or get all sorts of therapies.  Our choice.  Each person is different.  Like I said, you do what works w/ these kids.  One day I will explain how we've raised our FASD kids and how it's worked for us.  That will be a very long post most likely in parts.  For now, just glimpses here and there. 

Need to get going.  Kids are watching the America series documentary.  It's raining out so great compromise.  I'm getting stuff done.  Trying to knock down my list.  List keeps growing though.  Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  I think my teens are going to work the concession stand at Upwards Basketball games.  Not a big weekend planned.  Just working on the house for sure.  Next weekend, my parents come.  Kids are excited.  Following weekend, a boring weekend.  Need those every once in awhile.  After that, surgery weekend, we go nowhere for sure.  Weekend after that, soccer games and such.  The business of March is starting up.  We're ready for it...sort of. 

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