Sunday, February 12, 2012

They need each other

Originally, we went into this last set of adoptions with the intentions of bringing home a very young child.  We do this every single time.  We have yet to adopt a very young child.  Youngest ever adopted was 3yo.  So, as usual, we ended up adopting older children this time.  However, it worked out for the best again.  These sisters need each other.  They really and truly do.  FASD can be a lonely world for people.  Very lonely.  People w/ FASD do not quite fit in w/ what folks call the "typical" world or with what folks call the "special ed" world.  I have kids in both of those worlds and many in between.  (and I'm not worried about being politically correct w/ terminology)  As the children age, friendships are harder to come by because people around them do not understand their quirks.  FASD I feel is such a cruel dx as it tends to leave many feeling isolated.  Which brings me to my kids.   Some of my kids will not be able to live independently.  We've known this for some time now.  Well, at least had a good guess.  We knew adopting children a certain age may help some of our other kids.  I had no idea just how much it would help.  The bond 2 of them have developed is closer than anything I've known.  It is as though they are attached at the hip.  It was crystal clear to me the past few weeks just how much they needed each other.  One, to get out of her shell and walls she had built up around her and the other to have a deep relationship with someone who truly cares about her.  By having this close relationship, it has also helped a few of the others in the house.  Irina now helps three of her sisters that really need it at times.  Even if just for something small. 

Reni, getting her hair done w/ Irina.  Something simple for her but has so much meaning for her as well.  When she first came home, it was hard to even brush her hair as you couldn't get near her head.

Alyona,making sure everything is just right on her sister.  Reni, not minding at all that she is messing w/ her hair.

Sisters through and through.  I know they will take care of each other for years to come.  That's a given.  I have absolutely no regrets of adopting an older sibling group.  You'd be shocked at just how much these children need parents.  I am indeed saying that the older kids will need you more than you realize.  More than you can imagine.  Some of them, the hurt runs deep.  It can be healed though.  Trust me on that statement.  After 2 RADishes, I've seen it firsthand.   No, these two do not have RAD. 

Braided hair.  So different these two yet so much of the same.  They have so much love for each other.  Yes, they fight.  It's not all roses. It's reality.  But, the love they have for one another can not be denied.  For all those during our adoption journey that said it wasn't a good idea to add to our family that it would somehow 'hurt' our kids we have, I want them to see the kids now.  See how they are true sisters.  How love has helped both of them heal.  Alyona was lonely and mad most of the time before Reni came home.  Reni was frightened and hurt.  Now, both are thriving and loving.  Yes, both still have some issues.  But, both can work through them so much more easily with each other. 

I just had to share how two sisters found each other oceans away.  How two kids desperately needed each other and we didn't even no it at the time.  I see clearly now why we had to turn down the referral of the twins when we first went into this.  I did not understand why completely but now I do.  These two were meant for each other.  Sisters for life.  You know because I wrote this today, tomorrow they're going to drive me absolutely batty, right?  LOL.  I just think it is amazing how far these two girls have come in three months time. 

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