Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Manic Monday & a few questions answered

Someone had asked me a bit about the orphanage boys and when they are moved.  I needed to make sure I clear a few things up.  Many things are dependent upon the situation to that particular child and what country they are in.  Each country and each orphanage for that matter have variables as to when the kids go to the older kids home.  In Russia, it was typically when they hit 7 or 8  years old.  We know this as we fought tooth & nail to keep Yana at her childrens' home since they knew we were coming for her.  Didn't matter.  At Alyona's orphanage, they did hold her there.  Mainly, they feared for her life they told us at the older kids' home.  She was 7yo when we brought her home but only 21 lbs I believe and in a size 3T (those were even big on her).  Orphanage director was afraid she'd get beat at the older kids' home so they kept her there for us.  I was very relieved.  Truly, her personality & disabilities would not have allowed her to survive there.  So, it is really dependent upon the country & even then, the region and orphanage director & each child's situation.  Bojan was also kept in the baby home and not moved to an older home.  He and one other girl at the time.  For our 2 older kids from Bulgaria, I'm still trying to gauge & figure out exactly when they were transferred over there.  Remember, the rock incident for Reni which caused quite a deal of her trauma, happened at the old orphanage before the one she was at.  Also, many things that happened at the orphanages you will not learn about till months later, possibly years later.  One of our kids recently revealed to us they got in trouble b/c they tried to take toilet paper from the director's bathroom.  At that orphanage, the kids used newspaper.  Many, many things you will not discover till they are home.  The younger ones just there, say 7 or 8 don't seem to be nearly as affected.  They've learned but they are much easier to "un-learn" some of those behaviors. 

Today is Monday.  Manic Monday lives up to its name, that's for sure.  We have a bunch going on this week and lots of answers are forthcoming.  Tomorrow, Alyona and Bojan go to Duke Orthopedics.  Bojan's surgery will hopefully be determined then.  He is really, really wanting them to amputate this go around & frankly, if it's an option, we'll take it.  He's 13, able to make these decisions and endured enough pain, surgeries and non-functioning of a foot to know yet another surgery will most likely not help.  Mentally, he is ready if that choice comes up.  He's asked and told me he's asking the doc tomorrow to amputate it.  There is zilch ROM in it, it can't touch the ground, scar tissue galore, toes crossed over one another(brought this up at the LAST appt. btw), back heel can't touch the ground, and so much more wrong.  Will be interesting to hear what they say.  It will be either yet another clubfoot surgery or amputation. I know how reluctant doc's are at amputation but this is really slowing him down & he's realized it.  He is a teenager you know.  Alyona's will be simple.  If she has grown a certain amount, plates will need to be replaced.  Otherwise, no surgery.

Nik has an appointment for new head pieces for his implants.  Not exactly sure why yet but find out tomorrow.  Once again, Nik's excited b/c he thinks he's getting the AB Neptune implants.  I am determined to call AB, ask what the turn in price is and then get started on fundraising for his waterproof implants.  For him, they truly are ideal. He has always told me why they would help.  So, he knows.  I will do my best to make his dream come true.  shoot, not like we'll be buying him a skateboard or something.  This is something to help him hear and live life to the fullest.  If anyone out there in cyber space knows how much the trade-in value will be & cost of the new ones, please, please let us know.

Our church has graciously stepped forward to have all 10 of our kids attend a lock-in on Saturday evening.  Till Sunday after church!  I am so excited and relieved.  Warren and I do need some quiet time away from the noise.  Chaos Manor is loud.  Not going to lie to you.  It's loud here.  And some days, we just need to be able to think.  We have a ton to think about the next few weeks.  A lot.  I will explain more in a bit in another post.  One huge decision has already been made.  We are withdrawing Irina from school this Friday.  There was much that went into this decision.  Much.  More on it later and what the plans are for her.  Anyhow, having the kids gone will allow Warren and I to work on paperwork that has needed to be done for awhile now.  Hard paperwork.   Guardianship papers for one.

There are so many other little and big things happening here and priorities have come into play.  So, that's why blog has been, shall we say, slack lately.  This post was started yesterday.  It's now Tuesday.  Getting ready to start home school in a bit.  Bojan and Alyona already left with Warren to go to Duke.  Let you know later today the decisions made about those two.  Nik's implant appointment is at 3:30pm.  Speech is today as well here.  I'm relieved that I'm carpooling w/ another neighbor for picking up Yana from track and her son.  This week is not my turn which is wonderful as we have a lot going on.  Not sure we can make our FASD support group meeting this evening.  We'll see.  Busy, busy week.  Despite that, I managed to do a cardio workout last night.  So trivial but I was proud I actually squeezed it in.  I walk everyday but time to add in the 'good stuff.'  Comments ranged from "mom, you can do it!" to "Gee mom, I can tell you haven't done this for awhile."  Got to love the honesty....at times.  Going to make it the same time every evening.  I need it.  I do. 

I've gotten some supplies for Summer's orphanage but need an address.  Staff over there is going to send it tome.  When they do, this package will go off.  These were some of the things we just could not fit in a suitcase a few months ago.  I have other packages to get off to folks as well.  I need a catch up day one of these days.  But for now, it is what it is.  Much more to come as I have lots of things that need to be said.  Love to tell how the kids are doing.  All of them.  Love to explain exactly why we need to move.  And of course, would love to share some pictures.


  1. Definitely do give AB a call about the trade in costs. Or shoot them an email at hear@advancedbionics.com. Nik totally deserves the Neptunes!

  2. I've been reading your blog post for awhile, and have found it inspiring. We have always wanted to adopt down the road, but I was a bit fearful of some issues (FAS, RAD), and reading how you handle these and other issues have made me feel a little more capable, thanks! I also keep telling everyone about what you wrote about the older orphanages...spreading the word. Got an e-mail today from a co-worker asking for information about adopting older boys from Eastern Europe....I gave her the link to this post. Who knows....but maybe someone else will have a chance at becoming a productive member of society!