Friday, December 30, 2011

Potty training a 5yo???

Coming here to ask for advice.  I have potty trained toddlers before.  This is different.  A little background info.  Summer was said to be potty trained at the orphanage.  I asked.  I was curious b/c not only she wore diapers at 4yo but so did her roommates at the orphanage.  That's why I was wondering.  Summer is now 5yo, turned 5 last week.  However, emotionally she is more like 2yo.  She is delayed but mostly PI delays from what I can gather thus far.  Yet, some things she may be more delayed in.  Still figuring her out.  She is said to be missing her corpus callosum in her brain.   That can also cause some delays.  Waiting on MRI results on Jan. 10th.  She had it done a long time ago.  Hate waiting.  Anyhow, we are seeing what those results show as well.  May give us some insight. 

Summer is a very happy little girl.  Yet, cries at the drop of a hat. Like I said, emotionally very, very immature.  Back to potty training.  We tried to get her to go on the potty in Bulgaria since they said she was trained.  No part of it.  She wanted no part of it whatsoever!  She does not care whatsoever if she is wet or dirty in her diaper.  Not one single bit.  She won't tell you if she's wet or dirty.  She'd sit in it all day if you'd let her.  We don't but she would.  We have tried many, many tactics.  Typical things you would try.  We're at a loss.  After many, many, ruined pairs of underwear, we have let it go for now and back in diapers/ pull ups.  We have tried to cheer her own like crazy when she's on the toilet, we have tried the training potty, we have tried underwear over the pull-ups.  Anything and everything.  Nothing is working.  She has NO interest or desire in potty training.  She is 5yo now.  Truly, I didn't think this would be an issue. 

So, I'm asking for suggestions that other parents of developmentally delayed kids have tried.  Is she just not at the point where I should try yet.  Maybe too much for her brain to process at the moment?  Not sure.  Suggestions or ideas are very welcomed.  Like I said, we've done this potty training thing before.  Just this seems to be a whole lot different w/ Summer and can't pinpoint why right now.  She's seen her sisters w/ underwear on.  We've made a BIG deal about the whole underwear thing.  Just not working.  Thanks in advance.  This is what she does w/ the training potty: 


She uses it as a stool.  Which is fine b/c we've really been working w/ her on the big potty instead.  She has peed on the big toilet before.  So, I know she can do it.  However, it was not b/c she told us she had to go or anything like that.  Just ready to be out of diapers.  Can't wait to hear what you all have to say. 

10 comments:

  1. one thing I was told is that you put the underwear on inside the diapers, so that they can feel when they are wet, better...

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  2. Sounds like our little girl...who will remain nameless! :) We did the whole make them go potty every 30 minutes...oh we did that for days. Funny though she got potty trained at night first. It was TOUGH!! Not going to lie!!!! We went through the same thing with our oldest!! He was was WORSE! It's the p thing!! hee hee Meaning patience, perseverance and pull ups! :) Pull ups are very $$$, but we did those during the day and diapers at night. Stickers helped too and not quite instant rewards, but close!

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  3. We found the "bottomless method" useful. Stay home and don't use underwear, pants, or diaper. Potty in view. Once they get the idea of going to the potty, transition to underwear (with plenty of reminders). If they have an accident, show them and have them sit on the potty anyway (reinforces the idea plus allows them to finish going).

    However she may need more time at home first and you may wish to see what the MRI shows and what the doctors find out. It's possible a break for a couple weeks would be beneficial before starting up again (and who knows, she may just decide to start using it on her own).

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  4. We got Hope shortly before her 5th birthday and she was in pull-ups- RAD though, not PI. I showed her the new underwear, put her in pullups, and told her she was not ready for underwear yet, but when she was she should tell me. Didn't say another word about it. When she came to me and said she was ready, it was a done deal... very few accidents, no drama. So my advice would be to put her in pullups and drop it. You have bigger fish to fry right now.

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  5. Hi Stephanie! First off, let me just say that I am glad that I did NOT send that fart putty!! ; ) However, I was happy to see that there were things the kids could use and enjoy! Were the DVD's okay? Any that were inappropriate? I tried to be careful and to be honest, I don't think I even have any "bad" movies! I still have been finding lots that I will be sending. I'm sure you'll find uses with all of the Birthdays around there!

    Okay, the potty training thing. This is the method I have used and been successful with. Choose 2 people, preferably You and one of the older girls to work with Summer. Get an alarm clock and use it "with" Summer. Set it for every 30 min.. Then she must sit on the little potty for 5 min., (1 minute per year of age). During that 5 min,. one of you will sit on the floor next to her. Read a book. I always set up an area that was used only for potty training. You can put a small shelf/plastic cube, toilet paper, the alarm clock/timer and potty chair all in that special spot. Make a bright, fun chart and put it on the wall next to her shelf. Insist that she sit for the full 5 min.. And, reward her efforts, even if she doesn't go potty. Put a sticker on her chart to reward her sitting the whole time. Let her know that when she actually DOES pee or poop, she gets a special treat. Have some treats that only she gets for going in the potty. I would try to find a quiet, out of the way spot to set up. I always took the child to Ta*get to buy any undies/panties that THEY choose. But, they are put on Mama's dresser..not to be worn until they are using the potty consistently. It sounds like a lot of work, but taking her away from the spotlight and focusing only on the potty is key. Summer is so bright and beautiful and I have no doubt that she will train quickly. TRAIN is the keyword! For that 5 minutes out of every half hour, she must focus on the task at hand. Wish I was there to help you! Take care! Hugs to All! ~ Jo

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  6. I purchased a box of pull ups that had a princess watch in it. You can set it to go off every 30, 60, or 90 minutes. My daughter put on the watch and every time it chimed she was so excited. We ran to the potty and tried to go. It took us a few days but it was great. I never realized how time got away from me...it seemed like that thing was going off just as I turned around. Such a great thing to remind both of us!

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  7. I've worked with several girls who have ACC, and Summer doesn't seem to have any of the issues that seem common among those girls. I think the orphanage's idea of "potty trained" and ours is so different! LOL Like, if they will sit on the pot, that equals trained! LOL They told me Asher was trained, and he is not even anywhere close! He's 7! UGH! Anyway, he will pee about 50% of the time we put him on the toilet. We've had good timing and caught a poop a couple times too. Purely timing though, not skill. LOL I'm not pushing things at the moment though because he has several surgeries coming up, not to mention major GI issues and I don't want to have to start all over.

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  8. Wow this was tough for Katie as well and at 9 still will do a potty dance and has still had a accident. She does not want to stop doing something in order to potty. I think they never used diapers or pull ups in the orphanage so the feeling of wetting themselves is normal to them. I think I would give her a few more months to "settle in" and then make the reward something she really likes like shoes.
    pat

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  9. In the multiple disability room that I work in we use the over correctiong metod. We first start with the child on the potty every hour and reward a success (sticker on a treasure map after so many stickers a prize from the treasure chest). If the child as an accident we bring the child to the bathroom and clean the child up. Then we bring the child back to the place of the accident and tell the child the you go the the bathroom in the bathroom and not where the child is. We then bring the child to the bathroom to practice sitting on the toliet. We do this three times. Yes it is time consuming, but it has been successful. We also chart successes and accidents (date, time, type of elimination and location of accident or success on potty). We look for trends.

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  10. I would suggest letting her be home for longer and soaking up all the "babyness" that you can as she will be older before you know it. Maybe this summer start potty training using what AliciaD called the "bottomless" method. It is the method I have used to train over 20 different kids that have come through our doors over the years. Happy New Year to you all!

    Peace,
    :)De

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