Thursday, December 29, 2011

Nik-- ADHD/ FASD time to talk


Going to be honest here so watch out.  Up till now, we have concentrated solely on Nik's deafness and how to help him with that.  How can he reach his fullest potential by the resources we give him? Does he even want to?  Does he want to speak?  Does he want to sign?  As of late, we've notice he's been lazy lately.  He's also been like a squirrel on speed.  Okay, so I knew day one he had ADHD.  It's really a no brainer.  I mean, I have 3 other kids with it, it's not like I don't know what it is or what to look for.  I also have 5 other kids w/ FASD.  I knew from the get go Nik has FASD.  Again, no brainer.  However, we were so focused on his deafness and language, that we failed to address either the FASD or the ADHD.  It has become blatantly obvious over the last few weeks this needs to be addressed ASAP.  no delaying any more.  We just can't.  Poor kid is suffering.

I feel a bit guilty.  Knowing I should have addressed this earlier and not focused solely on his deafness for he is not only deaf.  I knew this, I did.  However, I also know some kids can be handled w/out medication.  And, some even outgrow ADHD.  Nik is not one of those kids.  He will need pharmaceutical help and I'm okay with that.  We have 3 children, well 4 if you count Logan but his is epilepsy, on meds.  Nik desperately needs this.  He is all over the place.  Constantly in motion.  Can't do his school work.  Can't really focus but when he does focus, it is a hyper focus like the other night.  He wanted Warren to fix his paper airplane but Warren was working w/ the older kids on something.  In addition, it was way past Nik's bedtime.  He just melted down.  Couldn't let it go b/c he was so focused on the airplane.   It was hard to watch.  I've noticed a slight decline in him lately and it's NOT because the new ones are home.  It's not.  This was a little noticeable even before they got home.

I remember what Max told me when we put him on meds years ago.  He didn't know they were meds btw.  We told him they were vitamins b/c we wanted his input.  Max said to me one day "Mom, am I going to take these forever?"  I said why?  Max said " because for the first time in my life I can think straight."  He was 6yo I believe at the time.  It was then I realized I should have started the meds sooner.  Feel the same about Nik.  Should have done this last year.  Thought about it but guess I was being cautiously optimistic.  This week things have become way too clear.  Nik needs meds and needs them soon.  And that's okay.  It won't change who he is a bit but will hopefully allow him to lead a better life.  Fewer frustrations, fewer meltdowns, fewer failures due to no focus, etc. He too will hopefully be able to think clearly as Max puts it.  This will not fully help the ADHD or FASD.  That I know all too well.  I also know that if right meds are found though, it will allow him to be the best person he can be.  And that is all I want for Nik.  To be the best kid he can be.  To not feel so eaten up inside.  To not be so frustrated.  To feel relief and feel like he can function.

I'm telling you all this b/c if you have a child w/ special needs and focus on one need, you're possibly not doing all you can for the child.  Even though, like myself, you think you are.  ALL our focus was on how to help Nik achieve w/ his deafness.  Yet we can't fully do that until we also help him with his ADHD and FASD.  So, that is our next step with Nik.  Yes, we'll continue to help him with language but if you can't focus long enough to do the sight words or phonics, how can you help w/ language?  Called our neuro but now they need a referral from the ped.  Seriously?  Can't you just trust the parent who's done this for 12 years now AND been seeing you for 11 years now?!  Oh well.

Nik will flourish, that I have no doubt.  I guess my guilt lies will he have flourished more or faster had I addressed this years ago?  Should I have waited so long?  I know you can't change it now.  I"m over that. Just want to make sure I do right by Nik is all.

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