Friday, September 30, 2011

Which way to go???

You ever have one of those days where you don't know which way to go?  You feel like you are going in ten thousand different directions?  Well, that's me.  That's the way I feel lately.  Relieved we recently received a court date yet have that new parent pit in the stomach nervous feeling.  That's not a bad thing.  NO, it's not.  It's a great thing.  It means it is becoming very real.  Thinking these future children are really going to be a part of this family forever.  Preparing for them.  Simple things really.  But things that do have to be done.  Assigning new table seating, making the table to seat 12 versus 10, assigning seats in the van (curtails some of the sibling squabbles), making dental appointments(January), making medical appointments as there are waiting lists for certain specialists, notifying HR of pending children soon so they'll have immediate insurance, getting a little more clothing for "little bit," getting another bed (long story here), and other little things.  You become aware that this long awaited process is finally nearing an end.  The kids will be coming home.  I know it is two weeks away, October 14th.   I know I can't rush it.  It will be here before I know it.  And I know that it is only court and then we have another few weeks to wait till we can go bring them home.

Before I know it, I will be a mother to 10.  It sounds like such an enormous number to me now.  Not sure why.  Maybe the double digit thing??  Many tell us 7 is a huge number but I don't think so at all.  10 feels right.  It does.  We'll have 5 girls and 5 boys.  no, never planned it that way.   Just the kids that seem meant to be in our family always seem to find a way into our family.  These three children coming home truly do feel like a part of our family.  I honestly can barely stand waiting to share things about them with you.  I want you to know how great they are.  What they're like.  What they look like.  Soon, I'll be able to do that.  Once they are my children.  Officially.  See, for now, we already consider them our children.  I think that is the hardest part of international adoption besides the waiting.  Not being able to share pictures with others or details of the children you've come to know.  Just as with our children home, it is natural to want to share.  Very difficult not to but you follow the guidelines set forth by whatever country you are adopting from.  Don't worry, I'll have plenty of photos to share with you once they are home. 

For those that don't know, court is a very big deal in the international adoption scene.  This is where the judge reviews every aspect of your life to make sure you are ready to raise the child/ children you are planning to adopt.  With us, since one of our children is of age to give consent, he must give consent to the adoption.  When you get to this point of an adoption (court), you have already visited the children, your life has been reviewed & reviewed again.  You have had more fingerprints taken than someone on the most wanted list.  You have redone your dossier documents at least once by now...typically.   You have worried, laughed, cried, rejoiced, and experienced many other emotions throughout the whole adoption process.  You have learned what patience truly means by now.  You really know what love is.  It is going across the ocean and back again.  More than once mind you.  I think international adoption makes parents tough in order to survive the next umpteen years with them.  Your thinking changes of how you handle certain situations.  For us, we go with the flow.  Not sure that's the right parenting approach but so far, I think they're doing beautifully.  We always say do what works. 

Been a long awaited process.  I feel we are now at least three quarters of the way there. I feel we can almost stop holding our breath.  I must have asked our poor agency at least 10 times this week if we needed additional documents.  They must think I'm spastic by now.  Thinking are you sure she's not a rookie??  LOL.  You just get to this point of waiting for a court date and it finally comes.  You just want to make sure you've left no stone unturned.   You want it all to come out right.  Why?  Well because it of course means that the children will finally be your children to love and to cherish.  Orphans no more!  For us, it means this journey of adoption will come to an end.  After 12 years, our family is complete. A forever family of 12.  I know, I know, I've said this before but this time, I do believe we are finally complete.  So, though I feel like I'm going in a few different directions making sure everything is finished & ready, I think I'm doing okay.  I'm ready for this family to be whole.  To be one with each other.  To enjoy some great times together.  The kids here are already planning things for the new kids home.  Umm, yeh kids you might want that money tree to grow.  LOL.  They want to plan things that we've never done.  Cracks me up.  I call it their dream list.  Yes, we're going to plan family vacations and things of that nature.  However, I think Disney and cruises are out of reach for now.  Hey, they're dreaming big.  But, going on trips like we did this past summer to an amusement park  or Hershey Park are not out of reach.  Our dream is to go cross country and back.  Again, our dream.  That and surviving a month long trip with ten kids.  I think this coming summer we'll be doing a family reunion (in this area), the Bulgarian Reunion, Deaf Camp in the mountains, a week long beach trip, a FAS Camp, and maybe exploring a few of the southern states.  Time will tell.  For now, it is just the thought of being able to make & think of plans that includes ALL ten kids that is the exciting part.  I can not wait for the next step of this long awaited journey to be done.  It is time. 

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