Friday, September 23, 2011

Our weekend ahead

It has been such a hectic, hectic week.  I have gotten behind on quite a few things and am using today to play catch up.  I will have a picture post  and a birthday post later today as well.  Today is Friday and Warren took off work to work on the yard.  Umm, it poured down rain.  No yard work.  Figures.  That's okay though b/c we've spent quite a bit of time discussing future plans w/ our kids.  Kids that are here and kids that will join our family.  Some of our kids will be able to leave home, some will not.  That takes planning especially, when it comes to the living situations.  Working on plans.  Ideas from parents of adult children living at home who've been there/ done that, please feel free to chime in w/ advice.  We get so much mixed advice we are at a stand still.  We've been told by our neurologist to already declare one of our kids incompetent for their own safety in regards to signing things and banking and such.  It just sounds so harsh.  I know that's the wording and I know she is NOT but still, it's hard to hear.  You want your kids to be as independent as possible.  Yet, still make sure they can handle certain situations and people.  Again, we're learning.  It is hard.  Not going to lie.  It's hard to think about.  We've disagreed w/ professionals before.  Deep down though, we know this one is correct.  She's known our daughter for just about as long as we have.  Let me know if any of you have been down this path and what you chose for your adult children living at home once they reached adulthood.  We need to think of the future so that it does not sneak up on us.  You know, since we are the ultimate procrastinators. 

Picked up more orphanage donations today which was wonderful!  Great people getting together to help neighbors in countries across the ocean.  Makes a difference.  Very grateful for everything that was donated.  Many jump ropes and crayons and frisbees and yo-yo's and such.  Love it!  Now, to figure out how to get it all over to EE next trip. 

Not much else going on today.  We did a few errands and mostly vegged out.  Warren and I just got back from a walk w/ the dogs.  Kids and I are figuring out a menu for next month and activities as well.  Yana has cross country tomorrow.  has to be at the school at 5:30 am...yikes!  The rest of us will be going to an air show locally.  Kids will get to ride up in a plane.  We may be able to make the kids' soccer games.  If not, it will be the only ones we will miss.  This only comes once a year and we missed it last year due to Nik's surgery.  We're all actually really excited about it.  One of Nik's friends from last year is coming over to visit tomorrow.  Nik is VERY excited.  These two are best buds.  It's wonderful. 

Sunday, we have church and then a homecoming lunch afterwards.  Then, we have a youth group meeting with the kids at 5pm.   October is right around the corner.  Blows my mind.  I'm still hopeful of an October court date.  Just very ready for my kids to be home and us to get settled in as a family.  We have opted not to do any sports or extracurricular activities for winter.  Spring and summer we'll be back full force.  But, this fall is proving to be quite busy.  Even the kids have started asking do we have to go anywhere.  That's a sign to slow back down.  And, those are the plans for November, December and January.  Those are the plans.  However, you throw in regular holiday happenings, birthdays, new kids coming home and well, not sure how much slowing down there will be.  LOL.  We'll figure it all out I'm sure.  Got to go.  Promised Irina she could use Facebook this evening.  Gives me no excuses for cleaning my room.  I have orphanage donations all over the floor and bed.  And laundry.  Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  Much more to come.  Picture posts and sweet sixteen.

2 comments:

  1. Our adult daughter lives at home and I agree the line between encouraging as much independence as possible and being consciencously involved is hard to walk. We have been doing this for a while and still find difficulties and roadblocks. She deserves dignity and not everyone we need to deal with afford her that. I cannot help people be more sensitive to her feelings in front of her...it is demoralizing, but hate going behind her back. One thing we have in place is that I am co-owner on her checking account. After a few dilemmas when she overdrew that account, I have (without her knowledge) had the account linked to a small savings account that acts as a guarantee that she cannot overdraw again. I also moniter her account online. My purpose is not to control how she spends her money, but to suggest if it starts looking "iffy" that we sit down together to balance her checkbook. So far this has met with mixed reviews, but is the best I can come up with. I am sure we have made other accommodations, but they have become so normal for us that at the moment I can't think of them. Pat

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  2. Hi Stephanie ~ I believe that several of your children will be considered "Vulnerable Adults", which although it is a "label", it is not a bad thing. It means that they will have some extra protection in some cases, that other young adults do not have. I actually lived in an adult foster home for a couple of years and had someone that helped with money and using it correctly (although, it was NOT necessary in my case, but was mandatory for AFC). I think you should have some degree of control, like your other commenter stated she has with her adult child. Another thing I, notice I said "I" think, is that you should start the process of looking into SSDI. Irina would definitely be eligible and it is some income that she can use to learn about handling money. Have you considered a small amt. of rent when she finishes school and is considered an adult? That is something that will be a teaching thing for your younger children and having the SSI/SSDI will enable her to be able to pay for her room and boarding. I guess I'm just thinking that ALL kids should be expected to do the normal young adult life experiences to the best of their abilities. I hope this doesn't sound insensitive or rude. Just my opinions.
    How is the fundraising coming along? It makes me nervous to not know and then have the court date/travel be a week away and not have the funds you need. If I know more, perhaps I can help with fundraising. Let me know! Hugs ~ Jo

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