Thursday, July 7, 2011

Going to hunt those tigers

I know I had written something I had read in the car while on our trip.  It struck a chord w/ me and I have realized some things need to change around here.  And change now.  There was a little book I picked up at a yard sale that came with Tim McGraw's CD, Live Like You Were Dying.  Now, not a big book but a little book w/ many words of encouragement.  You can summarize it in your own way.  Kind of goes along w/ the song.  The song talks of what you'd do if you found out you were dying.  What would you do?  Would you sulk and talk about the options and how much time you had left?  Or, would you go bull riding for the first time, forgive those around you that you hadn't, love deeper?  Would you want to go out and experience life?  I mean truly experience life?  Why not?  Why not do it NOW?  Why wait?  You have no idea how much time you have left.  None of us do.  There is so much out there to experience and no, it doesn't all cost piles of money.  Make your dreams come true.  Just do it.

I think we are starting to take that approach around here in baby steps.  Truly, we shouldn't have gone on our vacation to Hershey and Knoebels.  Even with my parents paying the park admittance fees(rides) it still cost us money to go on the trip.  Gas alone and hotel costs are not easy for a family of 9.   However, we had been extremely stressed these last few months.  CPS, crazy things with the adoptions, rough medicals, and too many other things to name made life at times wishing you were somewhere else. We needed to get away.  This was not for a just for fun trip.  We need some regrouping as a family.  Hence, why no blogging or electronics allowed on this trip.  Yes, we could have saved the bit we spent.  I know we needed to save for our adoption expenses coming up.  However, we have spent the last year, ALL of us, sacrificing many "extras" so that we could bring these 3 children home.  That is not easy to do. I took on a full time job.  Kids gave up a few things as well.  Is it worth it?  Yes, without a doubt!  In the same token though, we needed a break as a family.  We needed to have fun, we needed to be away, we needed to dream.  We did all those things and more.

While away, we discussed what we wanted to do when all the kids were home.  Our kids know we have to pay things off.  They know our dream is to take them next year on a big summer vacation across a few states.  It was great hearing what they wanted to do.  It was great watching them smile on the rides.  It was great watching them learn.

Back to my story.  If you want to hunt tigers, you have to go to where the tigers are.  That is such a simple statement yet so profound.  If you want to do things in life, you have to experience it.  You have to go to what you want to see and do.  We know this.  We do.  There is so much we want our kids to be able to experience.  So much they missed out on those first few years. Keep in mind, this was the first time ever that 5 of my 7 had even been to an amusement park.  A first for many of them.  It was great to watch that thrill of excitement as they tried a ride out for the very first time.  I want them to experience that feeling many more times in life.  All 10 of my kids.  The beach this summer.  I want to take the kids to the beach.  We only live an hour and 20 minutes from the beach.  Yet, it seems so far.  But, I intend to go w/ them.  Yes, I'll be dragging Warren along.  He is more of a mountains kind of person.  Me, I could live at the beach.  Leave it all behind and live at the beach.  Anyhow, to hunt tigers, you have to go to where the tigers are.  Bottom line. 

So, for our family, we have decided to hunt tigers.  If we want to learn about something, we're going to go learn about it.  If we want to do something, we are going to attempt to do it. Now, I know all this also has to have a practical side b/c let's face it, you can't do it all and you surely can't afford it all.  I mean really, we'd love to RV across the country but money is a huge obstacle for that.  So, we are looking at alternatives.  This year we desparately wanted to go to the FAS camp in October.  However, I know we just can't afford it right now.  It's hard b/c my kids need to truly connect to kids like them.  So, since we can't do Disney or go to FL, we decided why not have other kids here that have FAS.  So, in August, we are going to host a group here.  Some will be local & some will be coming from a few states over.  It's not the same yet in a way it is.  We'll still have the same concept and plenty of fun and food here.  When kids w/ similar disabilities get together, there is an extreme comfort level.  It really does help as part of the healing process to know they are not alone.  So, I'm trying to plan a few things for this little gathering here.  Trust me, there's plenty to do.  Can't wait to meet other families like ours and what they do.  Though we couldn't go out and hunt the tigers this time, we found a way for the tigers to come to us.  We will be doing a lot of rearranging and thinking in the upcoming months.  A lot.  There is so much out there in the world for all of us to experience.  I don't want to be held back from it all.  Our family intends to experience many new things this year.  I can barely wait. 

There are a ton of activities to do around where we live.  And even more just an hour or two away.  Some if it costs money but even more does not.  So never let the money factor be part of your problem.  Find a solution to hunt those tigers.  It's within reach.  We want to start grant foundation when we're done w/ our adoptions.  Yes, I do think we're done at 10 but as I've said before, always expect the unexpected.  Starting a grant foundation sounds so out of reach right now.  However, if we truly want to do this, we have to just go.  Go and do it.  We are trying to embrace this new attitude of experiences.  For quite some time, we were afraid to go to too many places w/ our kids.  However, over the years, they've gotten better, we've gotten better, and well we just all click now as a family and can for the most part, avoid meltdowns.  We do not ever let our kids dx's stop us from doing things.  Granted it's been ages since Warren and I have been out together on a date.  Yet, we can go for a walk around the neighborhood or run a quick errand together.  working on finding a sitter to feel comfortable to go out for a dinner date.  In fact, someone actually volunteered this morning!  Who knows, it may happen.  So, don't let things stop you from pursuing your dreams.  You want to be an author, go for it.  Say you don't have time, don't make excuses.  If you are at the computer, you have time each night.  Even if it's just 15 or 20 minutes to write, do it if it is a dream.  Warren and I have many dreams.  Many tigers we want to hunt.  It can happen.  There are many, many new things Warren and I will be doing this year w/ our family.  More I will tell you about in the upcoming months.  It's never dull here at Chaos Manor and I don't actually think I want it to be.  Too much to see and do in this world. 

You will be hearing more from this bunch soon.  Real soon.  For now, focus must be on getting our kids home from Bulgaria.  I used to think raising $4800 would be impossible.  Now, I don't think it will be. I know w/ some hard work we can do this.  Yes, we can.  Must get a fundraising post going and what our plans are.  One person once told me "nothing is impossible, unless you try shampooing a porcupine."  I kind of like that thought.  We're going to try to do the "impossible" and raise $4800 in 3 months time so that we can bring our kids home.  Again, separate post.  For now, just wanted you all to know the Boyd Bunch will be hunting those tigers wherever they make take us! 

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