Saturday, February 12, 2011

What a week!

It's Friday.  Thank goodness.  I honestly don't think I could have taken another day of this week.  It has not been the best week at Chaos Manor.  Mostly, the teens.  Okay, today I have the 4 "littles" coming over and trying to get 4 elementary kids ready for school.  Nik's implant's not working.  No one can find socks, etc.  All this going on & phone call from the school.  Max.  In trouble w/ the teacher.  URGHH!!!  I know it happens but really, he knows better.  Max gets asked everyday at home do you have homework or any projects.  This semester, everyday his answer has been no.  I've told him everyday I find that hard to believe.  He said he did the projects in school.  True....sort of.  He is also supposed to be doing them at home.  Nice kid.  In addition, he's been being a bit defiant w/the teacher in the morning.  Max is now grounded.  He's pretty much our servant.  I told the teacher do whatever consequences are necessary.  I could careless about his IEP.  If he deserves to fail, fail him.  This may sound harsh to some.  Yes, Max has ADHD and FAS.  I don't care.  Why?  Because although he can do no math whatsoever, he CAN indeed do every other subject just fine and does it well.  His intelligence is normal.  FAS kids have various IQ's and function differently.  Max is a bright kid.  He CAN do the work.  Period.  NO excuses.  I won't except less from him.  This is just pure laziness.  He did this last semester and really changed things around at the end.  Now, seems to be starting off badly.  URGHH!!!  Drives me nuts.  I guess it pains me so, so much b/c Irina and Alyona cognitively are unable to do the work yet they try and try so dog gone hard.  Max can do the work but chooses not to.  Unacceptable as Irina and Alyona would do anything to be able to do the work that Max could.  Just burns me up.  I'm being honest here.  Shoot, Alyona wants to read so badly, she carries books around her as if it will come via osmosis.  It won't.  She will most likely never be able to read more than a few simple, very simple, sentences.  Then I have Max who is artistically inclined, can remember fairly well his history, yet chooses to be lazy.  Just don't get it sometimes.

For those new here, all our kids have disabilities and most have FAS.  We have chosen to parent our FAS kids as you would most normal kids.  We don't give them special routines, diets, therapies or the like.  I know it is a bit more unconventional but we knew a long time ago that when they get older, society is not going to give them any special accommodations.  We shouldn't either.  Hence, Max is grounded. 

Same day, a few minutes after Max's call, in the midst of getting everyone out the door, Yana's school calls.  I wanted to scream so Warren took that call.  Just couldn't do one bad news call after another.  Warren took the call and Yana was in trouble for bringing an ipod to school.  Umm, she doesn't have an ipod. Only child in this house w/ an ipod is Irina.  Meaning, Yana stole it from Irina's room.  Takes it to school only to get it confiscated.  She did it out of revenge.  Yes, she even told us that!  Warren went to pick up the ipod on his way to work.  Yana is now grounded...again.  She was grounded two weeks ago for a RAD rage.  She hadn't raged in so long that it took us a back.  Oh well.  Anyhow, she was supposed to be ungrounded Friday.  Gets in trouble...Friday.  URGHH!!!  She too is more of a servant the next few weeks.  Right now, Max is hauling off the trash w/ Warren and Yana is raking the yard.  Hey, the yard may get prepped for spring a bit earlier this year.

So, not a banner week for the boyd bunch.  It happens.  Irina's been a nightmare and really wants to be homeschooled.  Working on it.  Irina also had her ENT appointment that didn't go over so well.  Trying to get her on track.  She also has realized this week she is severely delayed compared to her peers.  At that point, they just want comfort.  They don't want to hear the bologna line of "you're special just the way you are."  They hate that.  Trust me, you learn over the years.  So our focus really has been on Irina this past week.  She's feeling much better this weekend and I think we're finding balance.  She was terrified of never having a boyfriend or having a family.  She asked me "are stupid people able to have children?  Do you think I can care for a child?"  I told her she's not stupid.  I said trust me , I've met some stupid people over the years (just go to college & you'll see some LOL) and you are not one of them my dear.  Told her that you can easily raise a child and that we'd be here to help her out if she needed.  We also told her she's only 18yo.  I didn't get married till my mid-twenties.  No kids till 27yo.  I said you have plenty of time and really, just spend some time enjoying friends right now and a job.  Today was different.  She invited someone w/ her to help out at the concession stand at church.  Is much more relaxed too. 

It was so crazy w/ the teens this week that I didn't even help or do any of the homework for the younger ones. I just couldn't.  It was an emotionally taxing week.  Really was.  You know, the kind that suck the energy out of you?  But, managed to have all the kids finish their Valentines' Day stuff.  We had tons of stuff going on.  Out of the house and in the house.  On top of that, we got our much needed I-800A approval.  It is already in Bulgaria though we're sending the apostilled copy this coming week.  Agency said we should receive a travel date S-O-O-N. Like in possibly this coming week or so.  that would be wonderful.  Really wonderful.  I hope we have enough notice to go & I hear w/ Bulgaria you do.  Russia, one time we had 3 days notice.  Yep.  Bulgaria gives you more time which really helps us to get organized.  The wait all this time kind of throws you off.  Now, we know this is all happening.  I think the emotional part of that hit this week along w/ all the teen drama in the house.  I feel more at ease today.  We gave testimony at Upwards half time and really puts things in perspective as to why we are going through this all again.  I think today was a turning point for many of us in the house.  Lot less drama.  A lot less.  I think we are back on the upswing which is wonderful.  Everyone is healthy too.  Hope it stays that way. 

I know posts have been a few less lately but family comes first to take care of.  Some of the things we experience as a family are normal things, some adoption related and some FAS related.  As parents, we have to figure out what is what and deal with it.  At times, that is a challenge.  This past week has been one of those challenging weeks.  It is now Saturday and things finally feel back to normal.  Well, as normal as Chaos Manor gets around here.  We went to Upwards to watch some games today & give testimony on adoption.  Came home and Warren took the trash off w/ Max w/ some talking to to go with it.  We then went to pick up Alyona's glasses.  She is thrilled with them.  She can SEE!!!  She is so excited.  It is much, much clearer for her and hoping maybe we can get rid of the large print she is using.  We'll soon see.  No pun intended.  Kids had some of their friends over hanging out and playing.  Warren is cooking some pork chops on the grill and I've got potatoes boiling to make some mashed potatoes.  And green beans.  Yum.  We're all going to chill out on the couch and pick a movie.  Not sure what yet.  We have the Bourne Supremacy we want to see but not sure the younger ones can watch it.  Have to check.  I think we're ready to relax.  Made some chocolate chip cookies for dessert but they didn't last till dessert.  Tomorrow, it's church.  Then, time to clean up this house and van and dogs.  Valentine's Day is Monday.  Obviously, with a pending adoption, Warren and I aren't doing anything.  And, that's okay.  Plus, it's a school night anyhow.  Irina is going to attempt to get her driver's permit.  This will be her third time and I really do hope she passes.  She really is trying so hard.  She missed it by one the first time and not sure how she did the second time as Warren took her. 

More to come.  Just thought I should share a little of the downs around here.  We have ups & downs like every other family in America.  It happens.   And, with FAS kids, you really have to handle the downs with care.  I hope we did just that.  Enjoy the weekend.  I know we are.  It is supposed to be gorgeous next weekend and hoping we can get to the zoo.  All depends upon Warren's work schedule as it's an outage weekend.  I also need to start pricing flights.  Just ball park figures for right now as we don't have a date.  I know I'll be in sticker shock.  I have to get a handle on how much we have left to pay as far as fees go.  I know we are way short but need to figure out how short and get going on some more fundraising and such.  Have faith it will all work out in the end.  I'll give a run down on fees in one post as I know future adoptive families are always curious.  Got to go.  Potatoes are boiling.  More to come and pictures to come at some point.  Sorry this got long.  Just thought I should share that we too have issues and we too handle it while being cautiously optimistic. 

1 comment:

  1. We have also chosen to parent our FAS child no different than the other children. I hope it works in th elong run. I have teh same belief that you do. Society will treat them no differently. They don't look different so no one knows to treat them differntly.