Thursday, December 2, 2010

Stressed to the max

Who is stressed??  Me.  I'll admit it.  I'm stressed.  I'm human.  I think though for some reason that adoptive parents feel they shouldn't admit that.  Well, I'm debunking any myths that we don't get stressed or exhausted.  Just as any other parent on this planet does from time to time.  Well, this seems to be my time.  Only reason I am typing today is that the "littles" are sick today w/ a fever and are at home w/ their dad.  Though I feel bad that they are sick, it was a very much needed break for me to catch up with the 1001 things I have to do.

I shouldn't complain.  Yet, also feel sometimes it is good for a person to do so.  Good to be able to vent some of the frustrations you have.  We tend not to do that here as our kids have several disorders.   Adding stress to them or saying how you really feel some times is not in their best interest.  So, I'm blogging about why I've been so stressed lately.  A few things stand out.  We have a house that really & truly does need quite a few repairs.  And though we could do it ourselves, with the things that happen in this home and them needing constant supervision, it just never works out the way we need it to.  I don't know how long the "silly putty" stuff by the back door will hold.  Roof seems to be okay for now.  Only leaks now w/ very heavy rains.  Stressed that we need a new washer though trying to get this one to work.  Need to get the van looked at and I know for a fact we need at least two new tires.  Stressed knowing our heatlhcare will be doubling for us in January and big jump in co-pays for us.  Multiply that by 9 folks.  That definitely equals stress.  Did I mention I HATE this new healthcare overhaul?  Okay, said I'd steer away from politics on the blog so won't go there.  Just know that it will not benefit us at all.  We had a wonderful, wonderful plan at Warren's work and now, well, it's changing royally and we'll have to make decisions.  Not go for certain things I'm sure.  Some appts. will over ride other ones just due to sheer cost alone.  So, stressed about how we'll afford to go to the doc. I know I shouldn't, but am.  Stressed about finishing Christmas shopping and much has to be done tomorrow.  We have relatives coming here on Saturday.  All day.  Lunch and dinner together and opening of gifts.  Will I have enough to buy all the teachers stuff.  Though they requested items for the classrooms, it's still money.  I have many teachers for my kids.  Most likely, I'll have to go the homemade bread route and cards and hope for understanding.  I think last count I had 36 teachers that are involved w/ my kids.  And those are main teachers and not counting the high school ones.  Bus drivers, etc.  You feel guilty b/c you want to give a gift but sometimes that just is not always a doable thing.  Stressed about upcoming homeschooling some of my kids.  Stressed about what the school has done to some of my kids.  Not being able to work out as usual.  Umm, that may be part of the stress problem.  LOL.  Lots on my mind.  Wondering what my kids across the ocean are doing.  The I-800A approval stuff.  The re-adoption stuff.  The list could go on for days.  Stressed that I hate my house on the outside looking like Sanford & Sons.  Just trying to find solutions to many problems all at once.  And in the grand scheme of things, this is nothing major.  I have NO sick children, no kids w/ major diseases, etc.  We have jobs, we have a house, etc.  I really am trying to look on the bright side.  So much good is happening and has happened and I need to focus more on that and not the stuff I can't get done all at once.  Easier said than done.  I feel like I am just physically and mentally drained.  Exhausted would be a good word.  Stresses of puppy training.  Between puppy training and potty training, I'm frankly tired of bodily function of children and animals.  LOL.  I thought about not posting but I think folks need to see that I'm human too. Not superwoman.  Don't have it all together though I wish I did.  Not crafty at all.  Try, but fail each time.  Shoot, just ask any of my kids about the gingerbread houses over the years.  I attempt at Christmas and sometimes Halloween.  Kits and no kits.  Each and every single time it ends in laughter b/c I just have never ever made one.  Kids found a beautiful Ginger bread house at TJMaxx and said "mom, here's one that you can't mess up."  Lady behind us got a kick out of that one.  I wanted to buy it so badly but couldn't b/c it was $50.  However, that would have ended my quest for the perfect gingerbread house each year.  Stresses seem to becoming from every angle.  All in all, handling it pretty well.  Just want to handle things a bit better. 

I know this is not the bed of roses post of the year.  Yet, I actually feel better just writing this down.  And no, this is not all that's happening here.  Stressed about Max failing.  Though I know I need to let him fail.  Appliances here are breaking down left and right.  My daughter is still sleeping on the floor though we desperately want to get that bedroom ready for her and her new sisters.  Normal stuff that people go through every single day.  I have to get 3 references.  Means bug the people I've already bugged for Irina's re-adoption stuff.  Just the list is long and I want just one day w/ nothing to do.  Seriously, that's my Christmas wish.  I know it won't happen but I can dream.  Thanks for letting me vent a little.  I know there is more to say but think you are bored enough.  Now, off to Wally World this evening.  Need some things for this coming weekend for when guests come.

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