Saturday, November 27, 2010

What's broken now??? ( A little FAS)

For those somewhat new here, we have 7 kids with a variety of issues.  The main issue being FAS.  That is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  Some of them are dx'd with FAS, some with FAE.  Though frankly, one is not less severe than the other.  That, I can assure you.  There is some myth out there that if they don't have the facial features, it is some how less hard for the child.  Umm, no.  They still have frontal lobe brain damage and still have a host of issues to over come.  In many instances, FAS is not the only dx a child will receive.  All ours have overlapping issues.  So, a day in our home is not what a typical home will have going on.  Your children most likely can learn from their mistakes and understand them.  Your children most likely have cause and effect thinking.  Your children can think independently without having an "external brain" thinking for them.  Your children can most likely process things when they are said at a normal processing speed.  Our children can do none of these things.  This makes for somewhat of a pressure cooker environment at times. 

Lacking many of those things listed above, will inevitably lead to chaos and broken things.  Lots and lots and lots of broken things.  I'm not exaggerating either.  Years ago, one of our therapists thought I was exaggerating about the amount of items being broken each and every week at this home.  Needless to say, I was a litte "hot" about that.  So, the following week when she came to the home, I had the list in hand of what had been broken, who broke it and how it had gotten broken.  She said, "oh, I had no idea this is what life was like."  To us, it is just a different kind of normal.  And that's okay.  But some days I will admit, it gets old.  I get tired of telling them 20 times it's going to get broken and only have it broken later.  A small (& I do mean SMALL) list of what has broken over the last year or so.  This does not count all the dishes nor cups.  BTW, we have switched entirely to plastic dishes and cups. 

Pool liner-- $500 (skateboarding attempts w/ real skateboards in the pool)

Window -- $250 (Max & Alex were throwing shoes at each other night before vacation.  Alex ducked...urghh)

Bicycles-- $100 roughly for each one...countless broken (Max "tinkers" with them and tries to create other items out of bicycles)

Back door-- $1200 (Irina kicked it in beyond repair during one of her panic attacks when we weren't home)

Dishwasher-- $400 (Irina cleaned it out herself & broke pieces) Still using it but it really does need to be replaced

Washing machine-- $1000 (Irina and Yana have been overloading it and not working it right as well)

Cochlear Implants-- $16,000 (Alex threw both Nik's implants down the woods.  Why?  b/c in Alex's mind he'd be able to find them & collect a reward).  URGHH!!!

Wine Glasses-- $200 (Nik climbed on the counter to get glasses and knocked them off.  These happen to be very rare glasses that I was given years ago from my mom.  Beautiful glasses.  He broke 2 of the 10). 

DVD's-- $400-- guessing the amount as there were too many to count.  Kids don't know how to handle them and scratch them or break them.  I can't replace them for what I paid for most of them.  (I used to work at blockbuster)

Glass top patio table--$200 (left umbrella open during a wind storm)

Water leaks (3 of them)-- Kids busted the pipes loose from cramming stuff back under the sink to help clean up. 

I will stop just because this would literally take me days to write.  I think you all get the picture.  It is constant things being broken.  Alex always cuts his shoe laces up and then uses everybody elses shoe laces.  Then, we have issues as no one has shoe laces the next morning.  Yet, Alex sees nothing wrong w/ that.  Just like 2 of the boys saw nothing wrong w/ "freestyling" today.  Really?  Are you kidding me boys?  Did you have clean underwear?  Yes, mom (in a sarcastic voice).  Why on earth not put them on??? 

I will say, they are doing better w/ the puppies. Though, I could have really laid into Yana  yesterday.  She put the puppies on the trampoline b/c she thought they'd like it.  URGHH!!!  She is 15yo btw.  You'd think she'd know better.  It's been a FAS week of this kind of stuff.  Today, we go out to eat.  Oh, some of you will really appreciate this one.  Chinese buffet.  We never let them go up at once.  Too much chaos and not enough supervision.  Eyes are bigger than their stomachs.  LOL.  Anyhow, Max comes back to the table w/ a plate full of food and sets it on the table.  He had just come from the hibachi grill.  You know, where they cook the food right there in front of you and give it to you.  Well, I look at his plate and said "Max, you can't eat that!!  It's not cooked!  It's raw shrimp!"  He said well they said it was okay.  URGHH.  No, that's not what they said folks. They said it was okay for him to pick his own food out and then they cook it.  Remember, he to is 15yo but due to the FAS, one of us should have been there.  Kids with FAS will misinterpret much of what is said.  Happens here all the time.  I mean all the time.  We had a good laugh at lunch and so did the wait staff.  Glad we can help amuse folks. 

What is the point of all this?  Don't really have one.  Kind of just venting I guess.  Love the kids but sometimes, sometimes I just wish it weren't a daily occurrence... the breaking of things.  So, it was all in good timing that blessing of a gift the other day.  A washing machine it is.  Well, that and new glasses for Max.  See, that's another thing.  Unless you notice certain things on your kids dx'd with FAS, they will forget to tell you.  Happens to us all the time with shoes.  Alyona went from a size 13 to a size 1.5.  I've had one kid jump from a size 2 to a size 5!  How can they forget to tell you they're  small?!  Well, it wasn't till recently Max told me his glasses were all broken.  Had to order new ones.  Wrong lenses came in them so had to order new lenses w/ the correct strength.  Max has a spot on his optic nerve.  We really have to watch b/c lately, his eyes have gone really bad really quickly.  He was just to the eye doc this summer.  May ask our doc just in case.  He lives a few doors down which makes it very convenient.  Insurance only pays for an exam once a year and $200 worth of glasses once every two years.  He's been needing new glasses about once every six months and an additional exam.  So that gift will definitely help with some medical expenses.  Well, some of them.  Still mad at Duke for not listening to us when Bojan had surgery.  Cost us an ER visit later that evening. 

Next post will be our Thanksgiving post.  I know, I'm a little slow with that.  I've had a bunch going on so really trying to play catch up.  However, we went shopping a bit earlier today and then to lunch.  Tonight, we are going to go see Christmas lights w/ an old fashioned candy store.  It's great!  We go every year and it's only $2 a person.  Older ones have outgrown it but they go to get the candy.  LOL.  Deal is we won't bring them candy back if they stay home.  They always come along.  Check out the fun.  Hope you all are having a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend.  After Meadow Lights, we plan to come home and put up the Christmas Tree before Nik drives us insane.  Got to go get ready.  Our kids don't do the best in big crowds so we found if we go right when they open, not too many there and then it's off to visit with Santa.  Love it.  And let's not forget the candy shop.  Can't wait. 

Got to go get ready.  Perfect weather.  In the 50's.  We were just in shorts two days ago here.  No snow in sight.  I'll have some pictures from Thanksgiving a little later.  Right now, time to enjoy some Christmas lights and kids hyped up on candy.  And a bag of non-perils for me! 

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