Monday, October 4, 2010

Surgery pics (part I)

I wanted to share a few pictures with you as I think they tell you a little of what we went through.  As parents of children w/ various mental health disorders, it is a big deal every time we have some sort of "event" at our house.  So, wanted to give others a peek at what it may be like if you have some children w/ things such as PTSD, RAD, FAS, etc.  It effects the whole family unit when something happens, not just one person.  The night before Alex was a basket case.  He really was. 

I know you can't tell by the picture but this is Bojan.  He agreed to sleep w/ Alex to help calm Alex's nerves.  It was the night before surgery.  & yes, most my kids will sleep 2 to a bed despite having their own beds.  Buried in comforters.  I have given up ever having matching sets at the same time.

this is Alex.  Asleep.  It took him awhile but once Bojan agreed to sleep w/ him, he was okay.  And yes, my kids sleep in their clothes.  They have pajamas but for some reason, always grab another shirt.  Hey, if they're clean, I shouldn't care.  This was nice though of Bojan to help Alex out.

This was when he first got home.  Trying to figure out how to get him in the house. He's 90 lbs. btw.  Yana is waiting in the background to see him.  She & bojan are rather close despite them hating each other for about a year.  Thank goodness that's over.  Now, they joke around all the time.  

Now, I will explain a little more of what you are seeing in this photo as it is more than meets the eyes.  You are seeing the beginnings of a meltdown.  Bojan was just wheeled in.  Alex is holding the bag & keeping his distance.  You can tell by the look on his face, it's not going to be good.  He's clearly upset.  In the background, Nik is sitting in the little chair behind the wheelchair.  His hands are above his head.  Nik does this every single time he's upset...raises his hands above his head.  He is about to cry soon.  Irina is taking it all in making sure he is truly okay.  You can click on any picture to get a bigger view.

In this picture, you can tell Irina is now okay about Bojan having had surgery.  Later, when he starts profusely vomiting is when she gets panic stricken again.  Here, she's fine.  Nik is still keeping his distance, very unsure of everything happening.  Alex is stepping a little closer to check things out while getting ready to touch Bojan.  Big step for him as that is when he usually loses it.

Nik and Alex are still backed off from him.  Bojan is starting to read some cards that were given to him.'s starting.  Nik & Alex's faces are getting red & they are on the verge of losing it.  Bojan is reading a card from his sibs & 2 of them signed it w/ "I hope you don't die."  (okay, have to know this was meant to be funny & Bojan got the joke as he was laughing.  It was from a movie line that he likes so he understood that.  Alex & Nik, they did not.).  

This is Max in the garage.  I won't even comment on the garage disaster.  Suffice it to say, it has been a sore spot in this marriage for years.  The garage area is NOT mine.  partly to blame for this mess is Max.  Anyhow, back to the story.  Max reacts to sadness w/ anger.  He was getting very, very angry & we knew we had to get a handle on that right away. Not that we weren't trying to settle Bojan into the house, handle Nik's meltdown, handle Alex's meltdown, and cook dinner.  No, not that we were busy.  LOL.  But, when they get this way, you slowly think through your best options for the present. You do NOT, do NOT think about anything else or what may happen later.  FAS kids live in the here & now & when one is about to rage or be angry, you get that under control first.  Max was getting ready to be on the edge, we could tell.  Now, to break him out, we have to focus him totally on something else.  So, made him go to the garage, search for tools to put Bojan's bed up in the dining room.  Kept him busy, he forgets he's angry, calms, and all is well in the world so to speak.  

There is more to come & more I have to say about certain issues.  I think it is important for others to see how we handle things some times to diffuse a situation b/c maybe it will help them out.  Have a great evening everyone & will post part II tomorrow along w/ the pics.  I'll also have a mini adoption update.  

Nik had a field trip today.  Oh, what was awesome, he came home & told me, yes, he signed tome that the kids in the class sang him Happy Birthday.  He actually started to have a conversation w/ me!  I was SO, SO happy.  

BTW, I have a ton, ton of people to write back.  I am getting to everyone slowly & apologize.  So, if you've written to me & I haven't written back, I promise I'm trying not to be rude.  In Chaos Manor the kids come first.  Life happens.  Trying to decide if I'm sending the teens on a church pilgrimage in November.  I think it may be good for them but still truly worried.  We'll see.  More on all that stuff later.  In the beginning when I started blogging, I was afraid I'd have nothing to say.  Now, there is not enough time to say it all. 

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