Thursday, August 26, 2010

Oh my, so much to say... catching you up on this rollercoaster

Oh my goodness I'm not even sure really where in the world to begin.  I've told you a little about school & will tell you more in another post.  Just know, still not good.  Going to be calling some IEP meetings.  Trying to explain to teachers that FAS kids are literal. Yes, even as teens.  I'd like to tell the brilliant one today a thing or two b/c I have to deal w/ the mess once the kids get home.  For whatever reason, some teacher told Max to take something out of the fridge, eat it and then NOT eat for a week.  URGHH!!!!  I'm sure the teacher was just making some point and not thinking that 14/ 15 yo's would take him literally.  Yet, he also I'm sure is unaware of my son's IEP though he should be.  So, another letter going out tomorrow requesting they explain thoroughly to Max afterwards if they do another literal example.  I've written notes and made calls everyday to various schools to get messes straightened out.  Irina is lashing out as she does not understand regular English or algebra.  She has been in self-contained most her life, they've thrown her under the bus by throwing her in a regular inclusion class.  Again, more on the school stuff later.

So, this is not the only on going issue right now.  School is just one minor thorn.  We have a few more.  As I mentioned previously, we have a teenage daughter.  Well, two actually.  At some point, they're going to get in trouble.  Now, when you adopt older children, you do so with an understanding that most will come with quite a bit of baggage.  Yana was no exception to this.  The 8.5 years that she spent before she was with us were raw and not the best.  We'll just put it that way.  Many, many bad habits were learned out of a survival mentality.  She had to do some things in order just to survive.  We have to retrain all those years of thinking.  Not an easy task.  Especially, for a child with RAD.  Well, we have made significant progress but as some of you know with RAD, it is 1 step forward, two steps back at times.  Yana had taken one of our digital cameras and possessed it as her own.  Not only that, she took it into a store w/ a friend to take pictures of what she liked.  (tacky shoes btw).  We've told all our children to never, ever take anything into a store with you except your purse.  For us, she has stolen from us.  She took the camera without asking.  She was also taking snapshots of herself which looked like Facebook type pictures.  Knowing she was sneaky at school last year and has 3 accounts(school let her do this, NOT us), we knew something was up w/ the pictures.  Nothing racey but nothing that should be anywhere anyhow.  Our kids are banned from the computer period.  They have proven over and over they can not handle it.  When they do prove they can handle it, we let them.  Bojan will be fine once he's in middle school.  Yana has disobeyed time and time again in regards to the computer.  In fact, I called up a neighbor where she was spending the night to let her know that Yana is indeed banned from the computer altogether.  She said oh, they're on it now, I'll tell them to shut it down.  Yana knew our rules full well & violated them.  What kills me is we were JUST talking about how well Yana was doing and what great progress she was making.  How her birthday is next month and what we were going to do.  Talking of how she was helping out more and more.  Now, trust is totally destroyed yet again.  Yes, she's grounded.  No,don't know for how long.  Disappointed is an understatement.  We have yet to tell her she blew it big time for the birthday present.  See, we do not give our kids an allowance.  However, when they do many things for a few months & behavior has been good, we take them shopping unbenonst to them.  Irina was thrilled a few months ago when we went w/ her to get an ipod.  Thrilled.  Max picked out a camera(video) when we took him.  Yana blew it by getting in serious, serious trouble back then.  Thought she learned her lesson but obviously we were wrong.  We had planned to take her to get an ipod this month as well for her birthday/ doing well.  Not any more.  It's just really ashame b/c I truly thought she had finally "gotten it."  That it had sank in.  It is extremely hard to trust a RADish.  Extremely hard.  Especially, when they keep betraying your trust.  Maybe this time it will be different. 

Let's see, what else besides school and Yana.  Oh, the roof.  The storms were in full force here.  Our roof leaks.  Badly.  This time, it was worse.  There is a new major leak in the living room now.  Drywall is starting to buckle a bit.  You can see it cracked and bubbled.  We had buckets lined up this week.  While I'm looking at the bucket, I'm looking on the floor in the kitchen by the dishwasher.  Seems a little too glisteny for my tastes.  LOL.  Yep, water.  Dishwasher is leaking.  Warren says he needs to pull it  out and re-balance it.  Feels that will do the trick.  Hope so. Now, the time for that task???  No telling.  So, searching for a roofer.  Still have window issues.  The roof has to be done.  Since that has to be done, the adoption fund raising will have to increase quite a bit.  We were hoping the roof patches would have held that we did this summer.  Just needed it to hold till the spring.  Not going to happen.  They say things happen in three's so I think we're finished with the bad stuff. 

Oh wait, the adoption front.  We are literally waiting on one piece of paper to have an approved homestudy.  Made all the contacts necessary,etc.  Found out today that this paper has already been sent to the homestudy agency weeks ago along w/ another letter.  That is a relief and yet scary at the same time.  Calling the agency tomorrow to ask them to look again through papers as maybe they were stuck together a few weeks ago.  Got to love it.  That adoption rollercoaster.  In the mean time, placing agency is beyond anxious to have dossier in hand which I totally understand.  Once homestudy is approved, dossier is complete and will be mailed off.  That step would be a huge, huge step forward in this process.  Yet, we're at a standstill until the piece of paper is figured out.  I thought it hadn't been written yet.  That was not the case.  Here, I've been worrying the whole time about the wrong thing.  Go figure.  However, we would love some prayers and/ or good thoughts sent our way.  For the paperwork situation to be resolved immediately and for the homestudy to be approved.  We are at some serious time constraints right now.  Will explain more in detail a bit later in the process.  For now, just know we are very anxious to get things done and the kids home.  this is our last adoption and it just feels like it's time to move forward. 

What else has happened?  Oh, we are going to look at a neat place this weekend.  I will share more a bit later this weekend of where we went  and what it is all about.   This is something Warren and I have wanted to do for years now and was actually a dream of ours to do.  All the kids are coming with us.  That's important.  It may mean a whole new way of life for us all.  Who knows.  Too early.  It's still not too far from Warren's work which is great.  I'll tell all about it on Sunday most likely.  We are excited that a place like this is coming around. 

I think I touched on a few points.  There is more.  Life is filled with ups and downs no matter if you  have 1 kid or 10 kids.  It is what it is...life.  You have to take the good with the bad.  Though the week's been rough transitioning all the kids back into school, the weekend is looking absolutely splendid.  Gorgeous weather and a nice day planned for Saturday.  Can hardly wait.  Church Sunday.  I'll try to post some leftover first day of school pics soon too so check back of my growing learners.  the first week of school for parents of children with FAS is typically one of the most challenging weeks of the school year.  Really is.  Anxiety has been triggered in some of my kids.  Meltdowns have abound a bit more than usual.  We deal w/ one thing at a time.  We know this is temporary as it happens every single year.  Doesn't make it easier but makes it manageable.  We have lots going on in the fall but am looking forward to it too.  Finally, laughter downstairs.  Progress.  Albeit slow, it's still progress.  FAS children take transitions a bit hard.  We have 6 of them to transition back to school and this process will take about 2 weeks.  It is hard for parents to go through this process as well.  Especially, since we do have a few other things happening.  (shoot, even totally forgot about the surgery scheduling I need to do for bojan).  I have been slacking on my workouts and regret it.  However, I have been very active w/ the tots I watch daily.  Also been weightlifting and stretching daily.  But, miss my cardio workout.  My neighbor and I have vowed to get back to walking starting Monday.  Exercise helps me destress.  Of course, so does chocolate somehow.  Maybe that's why that stupid back of Walmart brand peanut butter mini cups ended up in the cart.  No, that was just sheer weakness.  LOL. 

I write all this b/c I think it is important for people to understand that during an adoption process life moves on.  It will be hard some days.  That is completely normal.  Normal to feel overwhelmed some days though for some reason that is not the feeling I have.   Mine is more a worried feeling.  Yet, this is already starting to pass.  I'm getting very organized lately.  Feels awesome.  SElling stuff we don't need.  No, it won't replace the roof but every little bit helps.  Plus, decluttering for me is very destressing for me.  It's great.  In the grand scheme of things, my troubles are very little.  So, I look forward to a wonderful weekend w/ my family.  Grounded one and all.  Hope you enjoy your week. Next week will return to normal.  School will be more settled, maybe dishwasher will be fixed(it works, just leaks some), a child will get a wake up call, my routine will be back in place for exercise and with prayers and good thoughts, homestudy will be approved. Yep, life is looking great right now despite my going through some rough hills of this roller coaster ride lately.  More to come.

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