Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Distraught daughter

Sometimes we go through experiences as parents that we wish we didn't have to.  That was us the night before last.  Irina is our oldest but due to her disability is socially maturity level wise that of about a 12/13 yo girl.  So, you need to watch what you say as she will twist things the wrong way.  Well, the other night she had a complete meltdown.  Just absolutely and totally distraught over the fact that none of the pants we bought her fit any more.  Now, I have been telling her for months that she needs to get out like she used to.  But, the school situation fed into her anxiety and things just did not go well the last semester.  Add to the fact that they only have to take P.E. one semester and well, not a good combo.  Irina gained weight.  However, this weight gain has coincided w/ a medication dosage increase.  Some of the drugs my kids are on can put on massive weight gain.  That is why they are monitored closely.  Anyhow, at this point though, I do not think it is a medication issue.  I will know in about two weeks if she hasn't lost any weight. 

You know how some things kids just need to experience themselves?  That was the other night.  And b/c of her maturity level, I had to watch what I said.  So, I made it about BOTH of us needing to loose weight together and that I would help put a plan together.  She knows I used to help train athletes and put plans together all the time.  I said we are to focus on the future and not what you did or didn't do the last few months.  She agreed.  Next morning we woke up(late of course) and went straight for a walk around the neighborhood.  She then went swimming w/ her friend & went walking later too.  Irina was asking me what she should eat, etc.  She is serious and committed.  I think she had to see for herself that she was gaining weight from lack of activity level.  What she also does not understand is in the preteen years you eat a ton as your body is growing but that stabilizes in the late teens.  Eating needs to decrease to accomadate.  I'm trying to teach her but also have to word how I put things.  If she does do all this though & gains anything or doesn't loose in 2 weeks, then she'll go straight back to neurology for a med change.  I have NOT told her the meds may be a contributing factor or she'd quit cold turkey which could literally be deadly for her.  But, it has been two days and she's still on this exercise kick(not obsessed though) and much, much happier.  I see a change already & I know this will be a good start.  Thought it important to share  b/c we deal w/ all sorts of normal teen issues here too.  Yet, we have to find a balance in how to deal with them since our kids chronological age does not match their mental ages.  Right now, she is swimming w/ her friend. 

So, I have one daughter training to be on track and running everyday and one daughter starting an exercise program to get healthy again.  Now, I need to make sure I keep up w/ them!  My other teen son Max wants a weight set.  I used to be very, very into exercise & health.  I think my teens are going to help force me to get back into shape.  LOL. 

Irina's anxiety can sometimes get the best of her.  It is hard to deal with for sure.  She tends to worry sometimes about the things she can't control.  Showing her though the things she CAN control, is a big help for her.  I want to be able to give Irina the tools she needs to deal w/ bigger issues that may come up later on in life when she may live on her own.  We want her to reach her fullest potential and teaching her how to calmly deal w/ her fears and anxiety will prove beneficial later on in life.  I hope.  Can't hurt. 

So, even though we calmed her down and she finally went to bed around 11, I still had to work out.  Had to keep my word.  yep, an 11 o'clock workout that evening, little sleep and then an early walk the next day w/ her.  Sometimes being a parent is tiring.  LOL.  I know I still have some pictures to post at some point in time.  And the other FAS posts. 

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