Thursday, July 29, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday

I'm not sure I have many for this week. Honestly, I haven't been paying that much attention.

Irina--Constantly making sure everyone this past weekend had enough to drink during the work of the windows.  She wanted to make sure everyone stayed cool and even made this huge vat of tea.  Gallons and gallons of tea.

Max-- Helped the guys w/ the window work.  Max also was thoughtful enough to help Irina out w/ driver's ed.  They are taking the same course and he's been quite helpful for her.

Yana-- Has many times over this week asked if she needed to help me with anything.  Randomly too.  Very thoughtful.

Bojan-- Knew Max was working on the neighbor's yard and Bojan volunteered to pick up Max's room for him since he knew Max would be tired when he got home.  What a thoughtful brother. 

Alyona-- Helped the people she stayed w/ on Saturday pick up their yard.  Geez, wished she'd help us pick up our yard.  LOL. 

Alex-- Gave Nik some silly bands when he saw Nik didn't have any.  Thoughtful to think of his brother and not be selfish.

Nik-- This was sweet.  I had just finished yelling at Nik & discipling him.  I was going on what Irina had told me.  Well, felt horrible when I found out it was NOT Nik who was in trouble.  I explained to him I was sorry for yelling at him & that it was IRina who told me.  Even though I yelled at him, he new I was upset about the whole mistake and came up and hugged me.  Then, he told me we need to call the police on Irina b/c she was bad for telling me the wrong thing.  LOL. 

Those are some of the thoughtful moments  I could think of off hand. Honestly, this week has been so busy I haven't given it much thought.  Don't remember if I told you all or not, but in order for Irina & Max to work, I need to get them their passports so that I can then get the wording on their SS card change so it doesn't make them sound like illegal aliens.  Passport office only has certain hours.  Apparently, there are a lot of people getting passports as the soonest I can apply is Wednesday.  AND, just found out the prices went up 2 weeks ago...URGHH!!!  For now, just getting Irina and Max theirs as they need it for employment.  The rest of the kids we will get later this year.  Warren & I will also attempt a trip to vital records to get all of them a US birth certificate.  No folks, the paperwork does not end when you adopt them.  We have never readopted our kids in our state.  We've never had an issues w/ schools, medical stuff or anything else for that matter.  All have accepted the foreign birth cert.

The reasons were doing some of this stuff now is for SSI.  Though we could have applied for this years ago, our personal belief is if we can raise the kids w/out assistance, we would.  I am not saying it's wrong to receive disability for the kids, it's just we don't feel it is right for our family.  We have awesome insurance and have always been able to get whatever therapies they need.  Currently, Nik gets speech therapy 2 times a week in our home.  So, we've never seen a need for us to apply.  I know others who definitely need the SSI in order to get therapies for their children.  Again, nothing wrong w/ that.  Don't want anyone thinking I'm somehow against SSI.  Though many out there think we get stipends or disability for these children, I can assure you, we get not a dime.  Well, as some of our children grow and will be adults soon, we know the SSI will be vital to them.  Mainly, Irina.  Most likely, she will not attend college and not get a job that pays all that well.  Adults w/ devel. disabilities will get paid less just due to the type of job they are able to hold.  For this reason, most receive SSI to help w/ that.  We were told by our neurologist to do this NOW as it is harder to get SSI after they turn 18yo.  I'm also told that to qualify, they base on income.  Told this income is divided amongst how many you apply for.  So, even though normally, I wouldn't bother applying for but just Irina, it apparently would help her out as well & qualify her better if we applied for all of them at the same time.  But, who knows.  There is so, so much misinformation about SSI it drives us all nuts.  So, once passport stuff & SS cards are straightened out, we will go to the SSI office and apply.  This will be vital for Irina to have w/ whatever job she gets so that she may attempt to live independently.  I do know that some of the kids in Alyona's classroom receive SSI disability.  I do know Irina's friends receive it as well.  So, I see no reason why they'd deny those two.  At this point though, we can only speculate.  Just never thought my kids would be on SSI.  Yet, it is a step toward their independence as well.  They will be productive members of society for sure.  Though we've had special needs children for years, there are still many, many things we are figuring out.  Dealing w/ Irina being 18yo this year is a big one.  We have to figure out what will help her into adulthood once she is done w/ school.  She is going into 10th grade this year so has a little time.  Just want her to reach her fullest potential.  If she needs SSI to do that, then so be it.  We will help her.  That is our job as parents.  Just hope we are doing it right.  LOL. 

There is a ton of info out there on all the things that happen once they are adults.  I try not to pay much attention to it all.  I want ot be open minded and not stereotype my children.  Hope that makes some sense.  Yet, I listen at the same time and try to learn from other parents who have adult disabled children.  It is hard w/ FAS kids as adults.  They tend to need supervision but are very capable of doing the jobs.  We're trying to figure out how we'll balance it all as well as how are kids will balance.  Time will tell.  Got off on quite a tangent, didn't I. Sorry about that. 

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