Monday, July 19, 2010

nervous

For the first time in this adoption journey, I am truly nervous.  Things are going a little crazy right now. There is one really, really major homestudy snafu and really hoping it gets resolved.  This is the only hold up right now.  I don't want to say anything yet.  So, I won't but will fill you all in later as I know others who have had the same issue.  I want to be confident.  I've seen things like this happen all the time & I'm usually the one telling everyone it's okay, it will work itself out.  There are 3 things I tell every single PAP:

1)  Be flexible

2)  ALWAYS expect the unexpected

3)  You are NEVER in control.

Though I tell others this all the time, I have yet to follow my own advice.  Can honestly say my stomach is in knots waiting and wanting to know something.  We have done 7 adoptions.  All different.  All had their "issues."  From corruption on an orphanage level, to not knowing when we were getting home to ending up in a hospital in Russia, to moving in the middle of an adoption and to whatever else you can think of.  We've probably experienced it.  Right down to them thinking we would have to life flight Alyona home from Russia to  Max smearing feces on the wall when we first got him to family members not happy we're adopting to you name it.  We've experienced it all.  Yet, by experiencing a variety of things, I think it has actually made us stronger.  Negative things tend to bounce off of us better now.  That is a great quality to be able to have.  So, in a way, I'm glad some of this stuff has happened.  It made me realize to stay strong.  I remember when they told us we'd only be able to bring Alex home & to go & get him and get Yana later.  We refused until we could get both together.  Deep down, I know these kids need to come home.  They belong here.  I have that same feeling I've had w/ all 7 of my kids.  That I am sure of.  I'm just having trouble w/ the here & now and keeping the faith that this will all work out the way it is supposed to.  Just wanted to say that even us that are deemed "experienced" adoptive parents get nervous and have issues pop up.  Deal with them and move on.  That is what we are trying to do.  Keep you posted and will tell more a little later.  Stay tuned as the journey continues.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there Sweetie! I am praying for you!

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