Thursday, July 22, 2010

Driver's Ed & disabilities

As most of you know, FAS children come w/ varying IQ's.  Some lower than others.  It's just the way it is.  Tack on some developmental delays from orphanage life, and it can make learning rather difficult.  This is what Irina is having to deal with right now.  I'm not going to lie.  And, I'm not going to lie to her and say it will all be okay.  This is life and sometimes life is hard.  Bottom line.  Many teachers have said "oh, that's okay, nice try."  That's not what your boss is going to say when you have a real job.  All her tests have been modified her whole life due to her disability and academic levels.  I fought the school on this and HATE when they let her make up a test.  It's not right.  Kids need to learn it is OKAY to fail, it does happen in life.  Relationships fail, jobs fail, tests fail, equipment fails, etc.  We tried instilling this in her at home that it's okay to fail and that life goes on and you can try again.

She is having a most difficult time in driver's ed.  She literally will study all day.  It's hard to watch.  It really is.  She wants it so, so bad and is trying so, so hard.  Deep down, I know she will not pass this time.  This is her first try though and I am not putting much stress on it.  However, she is.  All her life in school & by others, it's been nice try, good job, or you'll get it.  Not this time.  She is trying.  that's not the issue at all.  HOwever, her delays and disability are significant and it shows.  With FAS kids, it is all memory issues.  They don't have much of a short term memory capability.  Hence, why you have to say things 20 times over.  This is all short-term learning stuff.  She also hates the fact that she's one of the older ones in there.  there is an older kid in there though.  Irina rushed through her first test & failed b/c she didn't want to be the last one finished.  And she KNEW the material.  URGHH.  She's too concerned w/ others thinking she's retarded and tries very hard to hide it.  I can understand why.  Any teenager would naturally want to hide things they don't like about themselves.

So, what are we doing about all this?  We haven't let her quit.  We want Irina to see that some things in life my be hard but we can trudge through them.  We've told her it is okay if she doesn't pass, she can take the course again.  I feel having her quit now, she'd lose out on what she needs to know anyhow.  Max said she is fine in class and nothing out of the ordinary.  I would love, love for her to pass the course.  She's working hard on it though and that is all I can ask for.  I am proud that Irina is facing something that she sees as being impossible to do and doing it w/ all her might.  I'll let you know how it ends up.  They have 4 more days of driver's ed and then a big test.  We'll know at the end of next week.

I will post some more later.  We're getting the house organized today.  IRina and Yana went w/ their friend to the Y to swim.  Bojan went to a friend's house as well to play.  A friend came here to play w/ Max & Alex.  So, been a very light day.  Tomorrow, all kids are aware we are work, work, working!  Got to go. 

1 comment:

  1. I remember struggling a great deal with drivers ed in school. My parents had to fight for me to be able to take the course again the next semester. Everything took me two times. The written test, the driving test everything. But I did achieve! I have been accident free for 18 years. Wish her luck for me..she CAN do it!

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