I do understand new parents. Shoot, we were there once. But now....um, no. I can safely state we are parents. Normal parents. Yes, we make mistakes sometimes. But, we fix them as soon as we can. Our last adoption w/ Alyona & Nik I think confirmed us as parents in the Moscow Embassy. You know, where you all gather to get that golden ticket home? Well, we're all sitting there w/ our new kids. I could spot the new parents right away. The ones holding their children so lovingly and staring at me like I'm insane. Really, they were. Maybe it was b/c I was explaining to Alyona not to stare at the man in the window w/ a missing hand/ deformed hand as her brother has the same thing at home & a missing leg. Or maybe it was b/c I was tossing Nik up in the air like a pizza & grabbing him by one arm. It was the end of the trip. So,after one of the stares I said "I promise I won't break him." A little sassy but tired of the staring. I think that is when you realize you are a real parent. You don't care what the other parents think, you are just there for your child's well-being. And, if that means entertaining them in a boring room by tossing them up in the air, so be it.
Yes, I do think I have this parenting thing down pat. Why just today I was nominated as the "worst mommy ever!" Why you ask? Well, because Alex said so. Okay, we all know it is the first day of summer break. FAS kids do not do so great w/ transitions and the end of school is one of these transitions. Alex & Alyona were fighting in the pool. Calling each other names and just plain being nasty. Told them to get out They continued. Fine. Time for punishment. You two have to work on something together to learn how to get along. Go clean up Alex's room together. They start throwing stuff at each other. Typical. I expected this. So, they come out again to me. (I was swimming laps in the pool at the time) I said here 's the deal. You two are only allowed to play w/ each other the rest of the day. No friends over. Just each other. You ahve to sit by each other at dinner. BTW, I did this while I made them hold hands. Oh, the horror of it all. LOL. Alex threw a complete fit. Full fledge tantrum. Not a RAD rage thank goodness but had the markings of becoming one for sure. Anyhow, Alex stormed off. Came out awhile later. NEVER chase down a child w/ FAS or RAD when in that mood. It will only exasperate the issue. We never, ever go after them. Never. So, he comes back & starts to play w/ Alyona. Go figure. Later, he said, it's fun to play w/ her. They laughed the rest of the afternoon instead of screaming & mauling each other. Small sign of success. Okay, till the next sibling fight appears.
That was one lesson learned. FASers have a hard time learning lessons. They really do. It is partially due to lack of cause & effect thinking and partially due to being a stubborn kid. I am one of those parents who does NOT blame everything on my kid's disorder. I have seen it many times before. I don't think it is good for the kids at all. Just my opinion though. I'm honest w/ my kids. They don't like being told a monkey can do it better. Why do I say that? It sounds so mean, right? No. They understand what a monkey(something concrete that they can imagine) is and therefore want to prove me wrong by proving they can do it. It works and in this house, we do what works. Period. With having 6 of them having FAS, you go w/ what works as not to lose your sanity. Now, don't think I'm calling them a monkey. I'm not. There's more to it than that. I would never call my kids a monkey. Hope I'm explaining what I mean okay. Don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Anyhow, this whole week is an out of routine week. It was the last week of school. Schedules were off, they were feeding the kids crap at school & they have gone haywire. Reasoning abilities gone. Want to guess what happened here: