Wednesday, April 28, 2010

One step forward...

two steps back.  Remember that post I wrote about Yana and making a change?  I apparently spoke too soon.  And that is the thing with RAD, it is always a rollercoaster of a life.  Always.  But, we've come to expect it over the years so it doesn't phase us as much as it used to.  Though, nonetheless, it is still disappointing when something happens.  For new adoptive parents, with RAD, you will have lying and stealing.  That is pretty much a given.  Yana has made awesome progress in that the RAD rages are almost non-existant anymore.  she's done phenominally well in school and helps out at home now and even offers to help w/ Alyona when needed.  Yet, yesterday still went backwards.  Hard when you see so much progress & then face an incident.  Yesterday, I had all 3 older kids pack their lunches when they came home from school and I checked them.  Fine.  Sandwich, apple, orange and yogurt.  Later, I go to check all the younger kids' lunches.  I said "Bojan, where's your yogurt?"  There wasn't any left.  What?!  I said.  I had gotten 7 out so I knew there was enough for each child.  I go back to check the lunch boxes and sure enough, Yana purposefully went back and stole her brother's yogurt to put in her lunchbox as well.  What makes it worse w/ these kids w/ RAD is they will try to cover up one lie w/ another.  Gets them in more trouble.  I always remind mine even after they apologize that this is the reason I can not trust you so much.  This way later, when we say no to dating or going somewhere by yourself, they have an inclination as to what behavior led us to say no.  I know she is working hard on this stuff.  Again, you take progress where you can.  She didn't deny it, she fessed up and apologized to Bojan.  That believe it or not is showing maturity.  We're getting there.  Baby steps for sure. 

Another one step foward, two steps back deal is the SBI fingerprints.  Got them home and noticed Warren's social security # was wrong.  Yeh, that won't pass, will it?  Call up the lady and she said she can easily fix it.  Bring it back on it.  I have to give credit where credit is due.  Debra Wright at the Johnston County Sheriff's Department just rocks!!!  She goes above and beyond to help.  Not just w/ us.  I saw her interacting w/ a future applicant for a job there.  Nice demeanor, friendly, and knows her stuff.  One of my prints was having a hard time taking.  Umm, do not play w/ the kids and glitter before being printed.  Just another adoption tip for you.  LOL.  We dropped off the prints in the mail today.  Should be back next week. 

There is so much more going on here.  Just no time to cover it all.  Don't want to bore you all either.  Yana got two awards yesterday.  Field day events are coming up for the kids on Friday.  I'm going.  Should be fun.  Going to be really hot though.  Warren and I are trying to decide once again whether or not we should move from this home.  It is really a diffiuclt decision.  This house was never made for 12 people and we know that.  But, we've come to love it , our neighbors, our community, and everything else.  That being said, we still know we need more land and more space as the kids get older.  Remember, some are going to be with us long term and not live independently.  So, wanting to make sure we are equipped to deal with that.  We found a home that is 8000 sq. ft. on 10 acres.  We would be paying less there than we do here.  Here's a link to the real estate listing: .  Doing a move during an adoption is never easy.  Trust us, we did it during Yana and Alex's adoption.  But, it is doable.  Selling this one is the trick.  Trying to have a sense of calm when you have kids w/ FAS and RAD is at times, well, just impossible.  That is the only thing that worries us about selling this house.  The kids.  Transition is tough on them an djust prepping the house for sale is a crazy process.  We could do a lot more having more space for everyone.  WE have no crystal ball so we honestly don't know if it would be a good move or a bad move.  Just know that as the kids get older, this county will be tough for them to live in.  That is what I'm told by other special needs parents who've been there done that.  Time will tell. 

There is more happening but I've been a bit busy.  I'll try to catch up.  A big event for Nik too.  We have an awesome schedule for May.  Can hardly wait.  Goign to a Lego exhibit, to Deaf Camp in the mountains of NC, to a family event at Warren's work, and to the zoo.  We're ready to do some fun things for sure.  Got to go.  Will try to post some more later. 

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