Thursday, April 8, 2010

Just a recap of my day

You know, sometimes you just have to write it to really believe your day went as it did.  As usual, when you live in this house you come to expect the unexpected.  Yes, you do.  Everyday.  That state of hypervigilence never goes away.  Okay, so far today let's see if I can remember everything that happened here.  We turned the air off(told you it would be short-lived) and opened windows.  Now, the upstairs and downstairs units are separate.  Yana said she'd turn them off upstairs.  Umm, I guess I should have been more specific and said NOW!  URGHH!!!!  Discovered tonight the air conditioning had been on all day upstairs with the windows open.  That's right folks, we decided to provide the birds and all of natures' other creatures w/ cool air.  No need to worry about the cost of cooling the great outdoors down.  

Next pet peeve for the day.  Bojan got a new brace for his clubfoot.  Has to wear it for at least a month even though we still know he'll need surgery.  We know it is uncomfortable but every chance he got he took that stupid thing off.  He knows better for sure.  He separates the toes that are growing over one another but it still reverts back to the same position.  Told him not to.  I do understand why he doesn't want to wear it.  Shoot, I wouldn't want to wear the thing either.  But, he knows he has to in order to get the surgery. 

Decided it was hot so let the kids play in the sprinkler.  They won't do anything stupid, right?  Wrong.  They unhooked the sprinkler while I was inside.  I look outside and they have the giant tub full of water.  Taking turns dipping their heads in the nasty bucket of water.  When I ended that idea, they moved onto the giant frog they found and proceeded to kill it w/ kindness by literally trying to squeeze it to death.  Took said frog away.  Thought we could move into the house and have some lunch.  Wondering why the yogurt is frozen IN the fridge and why the lettuce has also turned to ice.  Look up at electronic temp and it reads  '7'.  It is supposed to be on 4.  Finally discovered it was Yana who did it. Why?  Because she just wanted to see what it was.  Umm, you couldn't ask me?!  During this whole day, Alex was lying to me.  Blantantly lying.  Common in FAS kids and one of the hugest pet peeves of parents of these children w/ this disorder.  He does his time and goes out to play.  He has to be silent for an hour(he started over manytimes) and write what he said.  Has to say what the lie was.  Later that day, I honestly think I had never been more angry at a child.  It is SO hard to keep cool when they are out of control.  Alex was choking his brother until one of the older kids tackled him down off of Bojan.  Now, it started off as a name calling fight from what I hear and escalated from there.  Now, this is common even around "normal sibs."  I know, I used to fight w/ my sister.  What is not common is kids affected by FAS have no "stopping mechanism" and poor impulse control. They do not think before they act.  No cause and effect thinking.  They just do.  Now, my neighbor assured me that her brothers did this to her when she was younger & she even passed out!  Bojan did not pass out and didn't have marks on him.  However, Alex knows this is unacceptable.  Alex is now back in "prison camp" here again.  I know he is only 9yo and this is common w/ his age kids.  Remember, I used to fight w/ one of my sisters.  I know it happens. Trouble is, Alex doesn't know when to stop so we have to just teach him he can't get into this situation to begin w/.  The statistics for FAS children when they become adults is not pretty.  I always have this fear one of my kids will end up in a bad place.  I'm doing everythign I can in my power to prevent that.  Maybe I can, maybe I can't.  But, I at least have to know I tried w/ all my might.  I know there is hope b/c sometimes he can be so loving towards his brothers and sisters.  I just need to see that kid more. 

While I was lecturing Alex, Irina comes in w/ Nik and a goose egg on top of his head.  I sign to him what happened.  He told me Alex did it.  What?!  Max comes running over and said no, it wasn't Alex at all.  Nik fell and landed on the metal bar on the trampoline.  So now, I have Nik lying.  URGHH.  At this point, I call Warren and scream tell him to please come home.  Parenthood, you can't quit and you can't change the game.  Other things happned today but honestly, I can't remember it all.  Thank God!  Thank goodness this is not groundhog day.  People ask me all the time "how do you do it?"  I politely say w/ a line from National Lampoon's Vacation movie " with every new day, there's fresh hope."  I sure hope tomorrow is better.  Today, had someone asked me that, I think I would have said, I don't do it all b/c I just quit.  Think that would have worked for today?  LOL.  Oh, I didn't even tell you that Yana may be in trouble tomorrow from a bus incident.  Apparently, she was defending a friend that was being bullied and called fat.  But while defending the friend, she called the bully a few choice words.  Not all nice words either if you know what I mean.  Granted, bully had it coming and there was no violence involved whatsoever. For a child w/ RAD, this is huge.  Years ago, she would have exploded w/ anger.  Not this time.  And, if one of your friends is being called fat, I think I'd have to defend them too.  She told me there were many witnesses on the bus.  I'll know tomorrow.  I think principal may use this as a "teaching moment" for all the girls involved.  I sure hope so.  I'd honestly hate to see her get suspended for helping a friend out.  That would be difficult to explain.  Well, thanks for letting me vent.  I know not all days are like this and I should be thankful for the good days.  I am.  Just hard on the really bad ones.  And, in the grand scheme of things, we did great b/c no one went to the hospital, no one was sick, and for the most part, everyone helped clean up.  There was no search & rescue(and yes, I will recap this Alex story from last year one day), no police, no fire trucks here(though the kids lit the tiki torches and were burning the mulch bark).  So, all in all, not a bad day for Chaos Manor.  Was your day just as great as mine? 

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