Sunday, March 14, 2010

Visit from a friend

Well, we survived springing forward.  We are actually on a mission today to get Bojan a new pair of shoes.  Sounds easy, right?  Well, not w/ his issues.  The prosthetic foot is no big deal.  The "meaty" clubfoot, however, that's another story.  He has to have boots and finding boots that will fit his size foot in NC during spring is tough.  The only ones that seem to last our Timberlands...yikes!  We all know how much those cost.  But, it is either those or the $600 to $700 "special" shoes.  No thanks.  Not w/ kids.  He gets his AFO soon.  Taking forever for some reason.  Usually they are ready very, very quickly.  cAlling again tomorrow. 

Anyhow, we've been to Walmart, Target, Kohls, Shoe Show, Shoe Carnival, TJMaxx, and way too many others to name.  Soo, today we are going to the outlet center.  I dread that place but since it is not quite tourist season, we should be good.  Put it this way, bus tours come there to shop.  NEVER go there during Christmas season or the summer and you can avoid most tourists.  You can get some phenominal deals there and hope to today.  Shoes is priority for him as they are currently glued together w/ goop.  Seriously.  It is crazy.

Okay, back from the shopping adventure.  URGHH!  Hate going w/ the boys.  LOL.  Men are just not made to shop.  I made that comment in a store today and a man standing next to me laughed and nodded in agreement.  Anyhow, we found Bojan 2 new pair of boots.  Finally.  Fortunately, they did not cost as much as originally thought.  We found Alyona a few items as well.  And while in the Osh Kosh store, Nik promised he would be a good boy if we got him the dinosaur shirt.  I caved.  He got the t-shirt.  It was on super clearance so no big deal but couldn't resist the cuteness as I usually can.  Teens also picked up some polo type shirts.  Again, typically we go to yardsales but like to mix it up w/ new clothes here and there and if they're on super clearance, it doesn't make it so bad to buy.  I even got a great pair of pants for just $7.  AND, best part was, I needed a smaller size.  Wait, did you hear that?!  A smaller size!  I was thrilled.  Found a great travel bag for $12.  Great deals.  We did not spend much but did really well for some things that we truly needed. 

Okay, remember when I said I'd buy that shirt if he were good?  Well, I did.  Regrets.  Nik behaved excellently until we went into a store for the teens.  They were waiting to go into the dressing room and wham!  I catch Nik looking under all the stalls to see if people were in them.  Guess he didn't want his sisters to wait.  Too bad.  I yank him up off the floor and really lay into him w/ sign , angry voice and expressions and all.  He just breaks down in tears.  I know, I look like mean mom in there yelling at a deaf child.  Didn't care.  He knows better than to look under the stalls.  He really does.  Warren took him outside w/ the rest of the boys while the girls and I finished up. 

After that incident and finishing up at one more store, we decide to head home.  First, thought we'd suprise the kids w/ a trip to McDonalds w/a playground.  They were thrilled.  WE all ate outside b/c it was so nice out.  Kids played on the playground quite a bit.  Beautiful day and best part is my kids will actually listen when it is time to go.  They know not to whine or cry.  We ask them to leave, they put their shoes on and we go.  I must say, they are typically well-behaved when we go out places.  The only one who had an issue today was Nik looking under the stalls.  However, I honestly think he was looking for his sisters.  Either way, he knows better. 

Now, about last night.  We had a friend come over w/ her son. 
She has a 9yo son that also has RAD and FAS.  For any of you out there struggling w/ a child w/ these disorders, do, do see if there is anyone nearby that you can talk to.  It was SO incredibly refreshing to speak to someone who knew exactly what I was talking about.  Who's son does the same type of stuff that my son does.  Whose worries are the same as mine.  Are we doing the right thing parenting them, can we do something different, will they make it are all questions that come up.  Knowing someone out there feels and thinks the same way is a weight lifted to say the least.  REally is.  You no longer feel alone.  Someone else who has had to restrain their child during a rage.  Someone who even knows what on earth a RAD rage is.  Or even how long they last.  Our record is 4 hours at this house but not something you want to be proud of.  We talked, we laughed, and we ate.  She brought the most delicous cookies and cake.  Wow!  Loved it.  We ate all the cookies.  Fantastic.  Cake is gone.  Kids told me mom, you have to get the recipe.  I will for sure.  My kids of course were well behaved.  Ahh, deceptive packaging.  LOL.  As soon as she left, they started up.  The whining, not wanting to go to bed or get a bath.  Why?  I got a bath yesterday.  The list goes on.  My boys were fighting over who helped her son earlier while she was here.  Yep, they were arguing in front of a guest.  Yet, she "got it."  She understood why they were doing what they were doing.  She understood how we had to talk to them.  Was nice not having to feel like we were walking on egg shells.  Really nice.  Lori, can't say enough of a thank you.  Do hope we get to connect on more topics soon.  Kids watched tv together just fine, built legos together just fine, chased each other just fine so I do think we'll be seeing more of them sometime.  I implore others w/ kids affected by RAD or FAS or both to really try to talk to someone face to face.  Swap those horror stories and listen to each other.  It helps.  It really does.  Got to go.  Two of mine are whining about who's cleaning what.  Crazy, huh? 


  1. Oh! Lucky you!
    I would even love to find somebody nearby that just has internationally adopted kids...but we are in a rural area.
    It's a 2+ hour drive to a support group, so we don't do that much either...

  2. Hey Stephanie,
    Your shopping trip sounds like it went REALLY well! Congrats! Yeah, I have caught my son looking under stall doors in the bathroom and dressing room before. I think it was innocent just because if he doesn't see it, it doesn't he was trying to see. But like you said, he knew better.
    And the behaving like a saint until Nick got the shirt. Oh my yes....will it ever stop! Probably not! But those are the little battles. We must save our energy for the BIG battles.
    We too really felt comfortable. Like you said, it was nice not having to feel like you had to defend yourself when you spoke to your child. To know your family is different, yet for a couple hours feel almost normal. Thank you so much for having us over!! By the way, my son did manage somehow to bring two Pokemon cards with him. I found one last night and dealt with that and thought it was over until I got surprised at church this morning when he thought I dropped him off at childrens church and he thought I had left. I watch him pull something out of his pocket and "wulla" another one. Life goes on.
    Anytime you need to talk I am only a phone call away. (that is unless you catch me in a crisis too!!!) LOL!
    Hopefully we will talk soon. Tell the family we said hello.
    Blessings, Lori