Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Just a normal day w/ FASers

I know I owe you all a post on FAS and what all it entails.  But for now, I will have to just leave you w/ a quick thing so that you realize, yes, all my days are pretty much like this.  With FAS kids, you expect the unexpected every single day.  And, since I normally just tell the "good" it seems on here, I want you all to know we have "normal" days as well as good ones.  I say "normal" b/c it is as about as normal as you can get w/ FAS. 

Today, I had just a normal day.  Let's see what went on after school today. After they left today, I went to my neighbor's to help her out w/ 2 babies.  Came home and tried to clean up a bit of what my kids left.  URGHH.  Right now, I have one child banned from a room.  Literally, she has lost total freedom.  Sometimes, you have to up the grounding to get results.  So far, seems to be working.  However, she seems to think she doesn't have to make her bed as it is on the floor now.  No, aren't you learning anything from being grounded??  Anyhow, Irina got home.  Remember, she is our daughter w/ severe OCD and HAS to be clean.  Even her ears.  In her mind, she thought pouring water into her ears would "clean" them.  No,it doesn't.  Just plugs up the ears.  Lesson learned.  Well, we then wonder why in the world Max hasn't come home yet.  I call the school.  Apparently, he had ASD(after school detention) & never told us.  Of course not.  The IEP team knows full well they are supposed to CALL us as Max has FAS. It is a disability.  He has short term memory loss issues as well as other things. Give him paper, he will forget to give it to us.  Plus, to go to ASD, parents are supposed to sign off on it.  We never did.  Have to go to school tomorrow & straighten that mess out.  Why did he get ASD?  B/c WE the parents forgot to sign something of his.  WE FORGOT & he got punished.  Don't think I'm not going to be on their case for that one.  Had to then go pick up Yana from soccer.  She did not make the team but has committed to practicing all year for next year.  Nice to see some committment come out of all this and her motivation go up.  Came home.  IRina & I tried to pick up the room that the handyman is going to come & give us an estimate for. Meantime, Warren calls to tell me he's late coming home & getting the pizzas.  What does a good mom do when slowly trying to go more natural and organic???  Make cake for them to eat.  I know, horrible thing to do but I couldn't take one more I'm hungry.  Bojan sounds like the tin man in an accident still due to his broken prosthetic.  Irina & Yana were arguing as if they were debating for presidency.  It was ridiculous.  Alyona misunderstood me when I said"do you want to get hot water today?"  You have to understand, we desperately need another hot water heater but have yet to figure out how to do it w/ the circuits we have.  Warren has an idea but not sure what we're doing yet.  Hot water is a precious commodity at this house.  So Alyona gets a bath & Irina comes in to inform me that Alyona thought I said TAKE all the hot water.  Umm, no dear as 4 other people need a bath tonight.  URGHH.  The list goes on of things like this happening till all were in bed.  Wait, another child w/out a bed as one wet the bed.  Does he have urological issues?  NO.  He'll just sporadically choose to do this.  Trust me, NOT a physical issue as we've been to all the top specialists here & have had all the tests.  This is totally a control issue.  Another mattress ruined.  We didn't buy him a new mattress for months last time he pulled this trick.  We have lost I believe 4 mattresses, maybe more, to this issue. (that's a couple hundred dollars btw) So, me wanting to go out and buy another one, not happening any time soon.  Anyhow, this was a typical FAS day in this home.  I know something got broken, it always does.  I just can't remember at the moment.  Oh yeh, Nik was trying to hammer the new landscape lighting. 

Yesterday was a typical FAS day.  Today, I am in a fog.  Feeling very under the weather as I think the kids brought something home.  Fever is gone now so hoping things will be looking up soon.  Headache is still here but not as intense.  This morning, none had lunches made.  When I dont' feel good, I unfortunately get out of that routine of checking behind them at night.  I can assure you if I went into the bathrooms today, all toothbrushes would be dry except for 2 of them.  So, mom can never be sick for long, that's for sure.  So, I'm ready to tackle this afternnoon w/ a little more gusto than yesterday.  Already have turkey stuffed and in the oven.  I don't want any surprises today but I'm sure I'll get some b/c w/ FAS, you learn to always expect the unexpected and be hypervigilent.    Here's an FAS poem that I love( you have to have humor w/ this disorder or you'll never make it past the school years):

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my sanity to keep.
For if some peace I do not find, 
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.
I pray I find a little quiet
Far from the daily family riot.

May I lie back--not have to think
about what they're stuffing down the sink,
or who they're with, or where they're at
and what they're doing to the  cat.
I pray for time all to myself
(did something just fall off a shelf?)

To cuddle in my nice, soft bed
(Oh no, another goldfish --dead!)
Some silent moments for goodness sake
(Did I just hear a window break?)
And what I need not cook or clean--
(well heck, I've got the right to dream)

Yes now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my wits about me keep,
But as I look around I know--
I must have lost them long ago!


Again, you have to have humor to parent children w/ FAS or RAD or many of the other mental health disorders.  You just have to laugh some days and say to yourself, with every new day, there's fresh hope.  Some days here are just really awesome.  Ad dsome, well I have to be honest..they're just awful.  But, I do think this is pretty nomral in every home w/ children of any kind.  At least that is what I hear from all parents so far.  YOu have your ups and your downs.  Just have to find ways to get back up if you are down.  I know I have to do a few more posts. For now though, have to get back to cleaning up this house & then resting.  I've been doing that today.  My energy has been way down.  Guess that comes w/ feeling a little sick.  Have a great week everyone.  Tomorrow we'll have some pictures as today is just too wordy.  Oh, the reason you no longer see LOL on here that much is b/c my DH claims I over use it.  Ha!  Might have to use that one instead.  Oh, we may get some of the white stuff here tonight.  Kids will never go to bed if it starts snowing before bed time.  Last time they were in it for hours before bed.  Not supposed to stick or anything so that's good.  Just pretty snow.  Even Alex commented he was sick of snow.  He's ready for the beach & pool weather.  Me too. 

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