Thursday, January 21, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday

Okay, it is Thursday.  I thought I'd do something on Thursday called thoughtful Thursday.  If one of my kids does something nice or says something nice, I'd love to share about it.  Many times children with certain labels and dx's get a bad stereotype about them. I want to change that and show the good that is in every kid.  FASers and RADishes too!  So, here goes nothing. 

Nik-- just this morning, he crawled into bed with Warren and I and decided to cuddle up with us.  Very sweet.  He also is signing I love you to me more and more and actually knows what it means. 

Alex-- was trying to teach Alyona basketball this week b/c they started playing at Upwards.  Remember, Alyona is quite mentally challenged and things are not easy for her to learn.  It is also very hard on the people teaching her things.  So, for Alex to take time out and do this, was very nice.  I appreciated that.

Alyona-- helped Irina willingly clean.  Alyona is well, shall we say...lazy.  So, for her to want to help Irina clean, it was a big deal.

Bojan-- wanted to donate his money to Dribbling for Drew.  I will let him for sure.  For a great cause.  He hasn't told me how much yet but I'll leave that for Bojan to decide.  It is his birthday money after all.  The church we play basketball at is collecting funds for a very sick child. 

Yana-- spent a l-o-n-g time doing Alyona's hair.  Now, understand that these two are like fire and gasoline when together.  So, for them to actually sit together and have peaceful sister time, it was a miracle in itself.  Yana sat there and braided Alyona's hair for the longest time. 

Max-- helping Yana with her drawing lessons.  Both Max and Yana can draw.  I will show pictures of Yana's drawings one day as well.  However, Max is more experienced.  So, Max was taking his time teaching Yana some techniques to improve her artwork.  Very thoughtful. 

Irina-- was going to go fundraising to get home her three new siblings.  Very thoughtful.  We went to a consignment shop this week and she said "we need to get these kids home NOW!"  When can the social worker come?  Soon, I told her.  She knows it is a long process as she's been through this before with us.  Irina has really been thinking of the kids left behind in orphanages lately and don't know if it is b/c she is so excited about them coming home or b/c she is getting older and realizes the life she would have had if she stayed.  Either way, still very thoughtful for her to think of the children in the orphanages.

I think some of the above are some very thoughtful moments my kids showed.  I know some of you out there have children with FAS and RAD and see rages.  Trust me, I for one know about the rages.  Geez.  I could deal without them for sure.  But then there are the above moments and it makes all the work and effort you put into these children and their issues all worthwhile.  It really does.  We haven't had to deal with a rage in well over a year.  But trust me, always fresh in my mind.  So when the kids are playing nice, doing things for each other and just simply being thoughtful, I like to recognize that. 

Now,in complete contrast, last night at the dinner table started with completely red faces from laughing so hard and having one of the best times at the dinner table.  That turned into a screaming and fighting match between the three girls over something that hasn't even happened yet!  (Yana was telling Irina how she would discipline her children if they got D's and F's on their report cards).  Alyona got into the arguement and it just was not pretty.  So, I see both sides.  The good and the bad.  I just wanted you to see the goodness that my kids have.  I get compliments all the time on their behavior if we go places.  I get compliments on behavior at school.  So, for those who think it is impossible to get good behavior out of kids with severe behavioral issues, it's not.  It CAN be done and the kids are better for it.  Trust me, there are times when I didn't think we'd make it.  But, then you have a week like this and all the thoughtful things they are doing.  amazes me.  They are thinking of others first.  They are showing empathy. They care about each other.  Shh, don't tell the teens that, they'll die of embarassment!  LOL.  I think my kids show great kindness and truly have a kind heart.  I know all kids have their moments of not so good sometimes, but for the most part, mine are pretty well behaved and I am very proud of them for that.  Thanks for letting me share some things.  I know they're not a big deal but it indeed shows how far they've come and reassures me that into adulthood, they will be just fine.  We are determined to beat those odds of adults living with FAS.  Post on FAS in the next few days as it is such a big part of our life and I want people to know what it is.  That kids with it can live a normal life and do okay.  Enjoy your evening everyone. 

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