In adoption, you really need to be honest. If you are not, it can jeopardize the family dynamics. We saw this week what our limitations are. This decision will allow an easier transition. It will also allow me more time w/ "Little Bit." She is the youngest we will have ever adopted. While the other 9 are at school, she can have one on one time with me and any therapies she may need. This also will allow us to travel more as a family and do some additional things with the 10 kids we'll have. With the other situation, I don't think that would have been as feasible. We have always wanted our family to stay strong and stay together. But, I also don't think it would be fair to them to deal with a situation that would have taken away their time and their needs. If some of you considering adoption already have a family, please do be honest with yourself what you can and can't handle. We have always been. Always. Yes, there is one of the new kids that has a disorder we are not familiar with. However, it is one we know we can handle. We are SO incredibly excited to be adding these 3 children to our family. I wish I could describe them but know the rules. Just know, they will fit into the boyd bunch like a glove. That, I have no doubt. Now, the best news is, these children come with a grant. That's right, a grant. So, I think we will lower our money needed bar. We just need $10,000 to complete these upcoming adoptions. That is NOT much! Think about it for a moment. That is just 100 people giving a one time donation of $100. Or 400 people giving just a one time donation of $25! We can do this. I know we can. I am more confident than ever that we will indeed be able to raise the $10K needed to complete this adoption. I will post the fundraisers soon. 2 of them. Maybe 3. I would love to start a facebook campaign next week. A mission to a miracle. A mission to raise $10K in a week! Believe it or not, we need to get these children out of there soon & so money will need to be raised fairly quickly. But I know we can do it. I only need 390 people more to give just one time $25 to save the lives of three children in an orphanage. Or, just 98 people giving $100. I can not give details but it is vital one of these children get out ASAP. Yes, all three are special needs. Yes, all will be adopted at the same time. Yes, it will be tough at first. Don't think this decision was easy. It was not. We had extreme guilt, or at least I did, in the beginning for declining these children. I have to do what is best for our entire family. It would also not be fair to the children that really need a smaller family to thrive. These two children needed what we could not give them. Many say just take the children and go with it. Some say that is what you would do if you gave birth to a child. Sort of. see, when you give birth here in America, you have access to many early intervention services. These children have already had years at an orphanage with no such services. Had I given birth to them, they would have had that extra love and attention needed int eh earlier years. Though I would have loved to have brought them home, we are just not the right family for these children. I will advocate very hard for them, trust me on that one. For now though, we had to unfortunately experience what our limitations are and be honest with ourselves. Please do so if you are adopting. Please. It makes your famliy stronger for sure. And please do not misinterpret what I am saying. I am not saying don't adopt special needs. I am saying know what you can and can't handle. I know for a fact we could not have a child w/ OI in this house. Not b/c of brittle bones but b/c of the sheer rough & toughness in this home w/ boys and kids w/ FAS/ RAD. It would not be fair to the child or the children at home. Same w/ this child we were considering. It justwould not have worked w/ our current family situations. I hope that made sense and didn't come off wrong. I just wanted to give a few examples. It is never an easy decision on whether or not you will adopt again, especially from another country. It is an even harder decision trying to decide what special needs you can and can't handle as a parent. It does not make you a bad parent when you say to an agency I can not handle this. They would rather hear that BEFORE you bring the child home rather than later. Now, some special needs are a suprise to some families and you deal with that as you go along. That is what we did with Nik and Alyona. Yes, we knew Alyona had FAS and strabismus. But did we knwo about her ONH(optic nerve hypoplasia) or the probable dwarfism or radial articulation or sensory integration or microcephaly or the other stuff? no. We dealt with the diagnosis as we went along and tried to find new ways to help her. Same with Nik. we did not know he was deaf/ possibly blind. Nor the other stuff with him. Again, we dealt with it as we went along. I'm sure these next children coming home will have suprise dx's as well. They usually do. We will deal with it as we go along. But this is what we are doing, examining what may and may not be to the best of our abilities. Seeing what we can and can't handle, especially, with three children coming home. This will be the first tiem we ever adopt three at once. We know this. We know it will not be an easy plane ride home. Hence, why we plan on taking IRina to help us. We know with older kids that they have to grieve the loss they experience as soon as they're home. This is a natural transition and all part of the adoption process.
That was a very long-winded write up on knowing your limitations in the adoption process. Long story short, I think we do. we are very, very confident that the children we have decided to bring home are without a doubt our children. They will fit in wonderful here. Will we have issues at first? I sure hope so! Why do I say that? because if they didn't, it would mean it wasn't a natural transition. Thanks for listening today and know that we are just thrilled about the decision we made today to add three wonderful kids to our family. For those considering adoption, please do think about the impact it will have on your current family dynamics. consider all the suprise dx's that may come with some of these children that have been in an institution. Once all is said and done, when they are home, they are your children to raise and love. Do what is in their best interest. Thus concludes my lecture on adoption limitations--LOL. Gee, if I were a student, I would have never sat through this. BTW, Warren is going to be retrieving all my pictures later this weekend since our computer crashed. Though I can't share pics of the new kids with you all, I can definitely share our pictures of the children that have been home. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. I will write more later, have more pictures up and more fundraisers up. Busy blog weekend.