Friday, December 18, 2009

A birthday we can't celebrate

Okay, so this picture totally landed in the wrong place--LOL.  This is fron Nik's party back in Oct.  He was the last b-day we had here.  Kids always decorate the dining room.  I usually make a cake as I used to work in a bakery & can do that stuff.  However, my cake this time went horribly wrong (Diego's head got decapitated) & we ended up buying a store bought one.  Now, read the following & then I'll get the pics in teh right place--LOL.

Always hard when you are in the adoption process and a special occassion arises that you wish your new children could be a part of.  Since I'm not allowed to release b-day information, I can not tell you when my new baby's birthday is.  It is in December and it is soon.  Been thinking about her as most expectant mothers think about their children & what future celebrations will be like.  Sure enough, that's me right now.  Not just thinking about what the celebration would look like here for a birthday, but what are they doing at the orphanage for her.  Most likely, nothing.  Most my children have their first birthday party once they are home with us.  I wonder, if they are even thinking about her on her special day.  Do they care when she was born.  Do they wake her up and say Happy Birthday to her & make her day extra special. Does she get extra hugs like she would here.  Does she get to lick the beaters full of homemade icing that is to go atop her cake.  Does my baby get to do this now?  Most  Is someone going to fix her hair up in ribbons and bows for her special day?  She has got the most gorgeous, thick, beautiful black hair you've ever seen.  Can't wait to put it up for her.  Her eyes are big and just simply stunning.  I so wish I could share her pictures.  Your heart would melt as mine did upon seeing her.  She is such a beautiful baby.  I can not tell you how hard it is knowing you want to be with a child and knowing full well you can't.  I just hope someone thinks of her on her day as I will.  Next year, I wil be able to watch those big beautiful eyes light up as she blows out her candles on the cake.  Someone besides me, please think of her.  She deserves just this simple wish.   I just want her to know someone is thinking of her and people do love her.  Why oh why can paper not move faster--LOL. 

Another common practice at this house during birthdays is pinatas.  Kids love the candy and end up w/ way more than should all the time.  But, birthdays are special and that's what they do here.  Something I'm sure that does not happen in the life of an orphan.  This is another simple pleasure that children should be able to enjoy.  I do want to do some type of celebration when we leave the older kids' home in Bulgaria.  Some bring cake, some play games w/ the children left behind, but everyone will typically do a little something to let them know they have not been forgotten about.  In fact, in our house, we have a stocking every year that is hung up at Christmas time symbolizing all the children left behind at the orphanages we've been to.  Our kids know this and have sent things in years past to their orphanages.

Another simple game of the limbo.  Rest of the kids are playing games out back.  Nik is happy.  It is his birthday here.  He should be happy.  I can only hope my little girl will be happy on her special day.  Though not celebrating with us this year, I do hope someone will remember her and at least give her a birthday hug.  Would mean a lot to me.

I can not wait until the homestudy appt.  Really, can't wait.  Our doc called, and ALL our medicals are ready for pick up for the homestudy.  I want my ducks in a row for when the social worker comes here to do the visits & can just give her all the paperwork.  This adoption, I don't want anyone waiting on me to get stuff together.  Hence, why I already have our medicals done.  Next job for homestudy list is to make copies of all our certificates.  Birth and marriage.  Fine.  It will all be done next week.  No big deal.  I told you, I'm ready.  I'm ready to be the one celebrating our daughter's birthday, not some stranger just thinking of it as another day w/out meaning.  Happy Birthday Little Bit!  No, not her name.  And no, her birthday is not today.  Just some time in December. 


  1. I feel like you do today, Stephanie! A beautiful angel that we hope to adopt has a birthday coming up in early January. We just pray every day that she will survive long enough for us to get her home! Cute pictures of birthdays! We love them here too! I am thinking of your littel girl with you! Happy Birthday to her.

  2. Stephanie, Happy Birthday to your beautiful little bit. I know that you and your family will be thinking about her on her special day, but soon enough you will all have a special day to celebrate and that will be one to change her life (and yours) forever. While you can't tell her this year, you will have many upcoming years to let her know how special she is and that her being born was for her to one day be YOUR Daughter.