Sunday, November 29, 2009

Not much happening, yet a lot happening

In adoption, you have parts of a process.  We are obviously at the beginning stages once again.  But hey, you have to start somewhere, right?  We have managed to fill out passport apps, get pics, & they are ready to go since it is just a renewal & we have our old ones.  We are also going to get Irina's done soon.  Hers has to be done in order for her to work this next semester.  L-O-N-G story & hoping not to involve immigration.  Don't ask as I've already spoken w/ immigration & we're trying to resolve this the simplist way.  Yeah, right--LOL.  This is only w/ Irina & Max that things got a little weird.  They are indeed legal so please don't worry about that.  American citizens through & through.  Just their social security cards are messed up and have them basically as green carded Americans.  So, she has to have a passport to straighten out the immigration issue & we'd like to take Irina w/ us on our second trip to pick up the kids.  Will do her a lot of good to see an orphanage again.  One thing some of you young adoptive parents might want to know is what happens when your children do become teenagers and ask the hard questions.  For Irina, knowing where she once lived is a huge thing for her.  Though Bulgaria is not Russia, it IS an orphanage she would be visiting and give her some idea of what her life was like in the past. 

I'm calling the homestudy agency tomorrow and asking some questions and get the ball rolling.  Once a homestudy is done, grant applications can take place and that will be huge for us.  We desperately need a grant to do this adoption.  Please pray for some grants for sure.  2 grants are the reason Alyona and Nik are with us to this day.  Makes a difference for sure.  These will be three special needs children we will be adopting just as all of our other adoptions have been special needs.  I will tell more details of their needs once our adoptions are further in the process & I would be able to release more information.  Just know that it is nothing that we are not used to.  We have a variety of special needs & have dealt with just about every diagnosis under the son.  From deafness to FAS to RAD to missing limbs, to eye disorder to every mental diagnosis of the alphabet.  Some of these issues we were aware of right up front and many were a suprise to us.  However, you deal with each diagnosis as it comes in and form a plan of action.  We pretty much have it down to a science now--LOL.  Our social worker tells us we should have our medical license by now.  I agree.  We definitely can handle the next set of children coming home.  Our social worker already knew back in October when she came that we were contemplating more children.  She said we definitely have plenty of room in this house.  Her mom came from a family w/ 10 kids so she "gets it."  Thank goodness.  Many question why we would want so many kids.  Frankly, I did not see 4 or 5 or 7 as that many kids.  I do consider 10 kids as a big family but all that is relative.  I know families that have 15, 20, 24 kids or more.  I know for a fact, I could not do that.  I am comfortable with the number 10 and that will be it.  I am getting older--LOL. 

We have always said for adoption you need to be ready mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  If one of those is out of place, it will not work.  There will be too much strife.  You need to be ready in adoption in the above areas so that when the children get home, all your focus can be on them and them blending w/ the current family dynamics.  Thisis vital to a successful transition in my opinion.  This has to be true of not just the parents but of the children already in the family. Though we wanted to adopt last year, Alex still needed more help & our teens were entering that akward age that we wanted to make sure we could be there for them.  And, we were.  There are also 3 rules one must follow when in the process of adoption.  Here they are:

1.  You are NEVER in control.
2.  ALWAYS expect the unexpected.
3.  Be flexible.  It can & will change.

If you accept these rules, you can have a successful adoption for sure.  NO adoption is without hiccups.  There is always something no matter how big or small.  There will always be something.  We are used to rolling with the punches and do not freak out now.  Right now, our only obstacle is money.  That will come with some good old fashioned hardwork and ingenuity.  I will not give up on my kids, that is for sure.  Never gave up on the other 7.  My sacrifice is nothing compared to what my kids have been through at their orphanages and past lives.  All my kids have a story to tell.  I can tell you I am very excited about this journey.  There is no fear this go around.  We know what we are getting into and know the kids will fit in really well with this family.  Our kids are very excited & unlike other adoptions, we have included them in from the get go.  They were even looking at photos and giving their thoughts.  I showed them what they looked like when we picked them out & committed to them.  Some were shocked that we still wanted them given what their pictures looked like.  Some were quite ghastly--LOL.  But, a mother knows when it is their child.  These three are definitely part of the Boyd Bunch.  Sorry there is nothign much more exciting to report.  I'll let you know how the homestudy call goes tomorrow.  Ready for that to get underway.  A homestudy lets you know that you are capable, willing and able to adopt.   I know this will not be a problem as this lady knows us and knows are family.  She has followed us for a few years now.  She knows how we raise our kids and they are themselves when she is here.   Once this homestudy is done, our next step will be sending off documents to the US government.  They then scrutinize everything and make sure we are able to provide for three more children.  You have to be a certain amount (I believe 125%) about the poverty level in order to adopt.  Your homestudy goes over your back records, work records, psych evals, etc. to make sure you are okay.  We have enough experience and I know they take that into consideration as well.  Burgers are almost ready so need to go.  Even in adoption, normal life does go on.  We still plan where we are taking the kids over the next few months, what activities they'll be involved in.  life does not stop just because you decide to adopt.  When it comes time to travel, then you make arrangements for the kids.  Until that time, everything goes on as planned.  So, as planned, we are going to go eat dinner--LOL.  Burgers fresh off the grill.  We got tired of turkey.  I will finish Yana's transformation post tonight with pictures.  After that, just Irina & Max's to go.  Let me know what all your thoughts are on the adoption process.  How does it affect you?  Any suprises?  Any regrets?  Anything out of the ordinary?  I'd love to hear it.

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