Monday, November 9, 2009

A little history lesson

Good morning everyone.  I thought I'd take you back in time a bit for some history on our previous adoptions.  One day, I will post each of our adoption stories.  But being this is my first blog, I did not want to scare anyone away with a lengthy post.  (thank me later--LOL). 

Warren and I were married in December of 1997.  Just as some of our adoptions have been considered quick & a whirlwind experience, so too was our relationship and marriage.  We met in August of '97, engaged 3 weeks later on Aug. 31st and then married a few months later on December 7th.  Some said it was too fast, it won't last, you hardly know each other, etc, etc.  Almost 12 years later and I have to say those worries are far from everyone's minds now. 

Well, just as our marriage began, so did our adoption journeys.  They too seemed to come on quickly and friends, relatives were questioning our sanity & footings in reality back then as well.  Think about it for  a moment.  Married, and then a year and a half later, we had two children.  However, no one thinks twice about this when it is a married couple that is pregnant with twins.  For that, there is much congratulations.  For us, it was much more questioning as to why we wanted to adopt two orphans from Russia who were gasp...NOT babies.  Relatives & friends were in shock.  Just as every adoption since then though, I looked at Max & Irina's pictures and I just knew they were my kids.  It is mother's instinct, I swear it to this day.  I do adoption advocacy work here & there & see hundreds of pictures of kids all the time.  Yet, the ONLY ones I have ever stopped and called on are the 10 children that you have come to know.  Well, 7 you know & the three you will get to know later in the year.  There has to be something more to this.  That can not just be a mere coincidence.  I truly believe everything happens for a reason and me seeing all our kids pictures & pursuing our adoptions was simply us pursuing our family to be complete. 

Max & Irina came home & it was quite an adjustment just as any other new parent would have.  Just we also had past orphanage behaviors and no speaking english to deal with.  I will admit, back then, we had no idea what we were doing.  But, we grew as parents and learned as we went along.  This was 10  years ago & so hard to believe.  We had 2, we were happy.  A few years later, we got that adoption nudge feeling.  Thinking again about maybe more children.  We adopted Max & Irina in 1999.  4 years later, we decide to host Yana, Alex & Zhenya to see if they would be a good fit for our family & honestly, to see if we really wanted more children or not.  Long story short, Yana & Alex came home in 2004.  Before their adoption, we were also met with the same questions of how and why.  I always say, why not or how can you not do it.  Just look at the kids if you want to know the why.  I personally thought that waiting 4 years between adoptions at the time was plenty to know what we were doing.  It was.  Crazy as it may seem, we still had that nudging feeling we couldn't shake no matter how hard I tried.  I saw Bojan's picture right before we left to get Yana & Alex.  I called as soon as we came home just to check on this little boy.  In my rational mind, I said we can't do another adoption after just being home.  No way.  No how.  But, there was this great kid waiting for us in Serbia who needed us to save him from a life w/out meaning.  During this whole time, Alex was having a rough go of things with his RAD.  We brought Bojan home 8 months after we returned w/ Yana & Alex.  Best move we had ever made for Alex.  Bojan seemed to help Alex & vice versa.  They were meant to be together.  I truly believe both needed each other to heal but in different ways.  We had five & thought that is it.  We are done.  No more kids.  Starting looking what people were adopting, how their journey was going, anythign I could help with, etc.  Happened upon a site that showed Alyona.  Her name had a hold on it meaning another family was to adopt her.  Yet, I looked at her picture every single day.  One day in April of 2006, her name came off hold & well, the rest is history as they say.  We were to travel in Oct to visit her.  I received a call toward teh end of September sayign that there was a boy & his last hope was us as he was going to be transferred to a mental institution.  I was sent his picture & I said to the agency " I don't care what is wrong with him, he is our son!"  That of course was Nik.  We brought Nik & Alyona home Thanksgiving time of 2006.  We had 7, we were busy, we were done.  Didn't feel complete, but thought we were done for sure.  I started helping children find their forever families & felt no draw to go back.  That is until we got further & further into Nik's deafness.  We wanted him to hav the same opportunity to communicate in the family with someone.  So, we started to see if there were any deaf children avaialble to adopt.  Actually, harder than you think.  Though we started out wanting to adopt a deaf child, during the course of this we discovered that Nik was making huge gains and though may never be able to communicate verbally in life, he was defintely going to be able to eventually understand what we were saying.  Our thinking switched as we were slowly getting clues of where to go.  Bulgaria.  Bulgaria?  What?!  Are you sure?  Yep, those are the questions I kept asking myself.  I will go into detail tomorrow as why Bulgaria.  But for now, this brings us to our conclusion of our history lesson.  Though some times it may seem like we rush into things, we really have clearly thought long and hard...most of the time..LOL.  This upcoming adoption will have happened nearly 4 years after Alyona & Nik first came home.  That is definitely plent;y of time to think about if you really want to do this again.  They say history repeats itself.  In this case, it sure has.  Just look at our dates of adoptions 1999, 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2010.  We would not change the course of history that has been written for our family.  It is a history we are proud of.  Surely, it has come with ups and downs.  If we were to say it was all rosy, that would be a lie.  No major events in history have been without trials, tribulations and triumphs.  We will muddle through the tribulations and bask in the triumphs.  Much more to come over the next few days. 

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